


Needy

by pukehemmings



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 16 year old luke, 20 year old Ashton, Abuse, Age Difference, Age Play, Age Regression/De-Aging, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Bottom Luke, Child Neglect, Daddy Ashton, Family Issues, Jack has Cancer, Little Luke, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Side of Malum, Spanking, Top Ashton, Underage Luke
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-10
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2018-07-22 19:40:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 35,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7451548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pukehemmings/pseuds/pukehemmings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Luke is needy as some would say, Ashton knew it the second he stood in front of a crying Luke as a stuffed penguin that he couldn't afford was clutched in his hands. He wasn't high maintenance, in fact, he was far from it. Luke had never received the attention he deserved when he was young, for reasons he is too afraid to admit. When he meets Ashton, he confesses everything, giving the older man the opportunity to take care of Luke the way he had been craving for so long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I will be posting once a week hopefully, but no promises. Please comment and gives kudos so I will know if people are liking the story xx I may be posting this on my wattpad as well, which is badlandscashton, but as of now, it will just be on here.

"Seriously Luke, just use a pencil," Calum, Luke's best, and only friend says to him.

Luke's azure eyes fill with tears, "B-but gray is just so...dull and sad, I want to write with purple." The 16 year old says quietly with his lip trembling.

Calum cringes as the boy is about to cry over something so small, but he was not surprised.

"Luke please don't cry, I just don't want you to get in trouble for not using a pencil." Calum reassures.

"I don't care..I want to use purple." The small blond whines.

"Alright," Calum says while grabbing a colored pencil from his bag, "Just don't get upset when the teacher doesn't take it."

"Why wouldn't he take it? Should I use blue instead? Mayb-"

"Luke, Jesus, just do your stupid homework, it doesn't matter," Calum snapped, silencing the boy as he continued to work.

Luke was definitely not like others.


	2. Chapter 2

Three years before.

He was staring at the ceiling as his vision clouded in and out. His mind was a blur as a Disney movie played softly in the background of his almost asleep state. In his mouth was his thumb, which was hidden by the giant stuffed animal resting against his face. He was not four, but thirteen.

"He's a freak," His father spat down the hall at his mother.

Liz stood there astonished, Luke was definitely different, but he was not a freak. He had a bad past and went through hell, the doctors were surprised that the boy even spoke. He wasn't supposed to talk, at least that's what the doctor said. They had claimed that because of the trauma, he would most likely be mute for the rest of his life. But then on his seventh birthday, after two years of silence, he finally spoke. 

"Why don't we just send him to a therapist?" Andy spoke, making Liz's skin crawl.

They were whispering, in fear that they would wake Luke up, and they most certainly did not want that to happen.

"A psychiatrist isn't going to fix what happened," Liz whispered, "No doctor can fix this, only Luke can, and he won't do it until he's ready." She yelled, but not loud yelling, it 

"No one is ever going to fall in love with him if he continues this bullshit!" Andy screamed, this time not caring.

His voice was like a car alarm, giving no warning as it echoed through the house, bouncing off the walls and into Luke's ear.

If only they had known what the future held.


	3. Chapter 3

Now.

"Be nice to him, you twat," Calum told Michael, his boyfriend, while playfully punching him on the shoulder as they sat down at the lunch table with Luke trailing behind.

"Its not my fault he's an easy target." Michael whispered into Calum's ear jokingly, not wanting the youngest boy to hear.

"Its not my fault either," Luke mumbled with a pout while crossing his arms over his chest. 

Luke didn't mind the teasing from Michael, he had grown used to it by now. Michael was dating Calum, and Calum was Luke's best friend, which meant they were always together, whether Michael was with them or not. The only thing was that Luke was a grade below the other two, just starting his sophomore year. Luke had met Calum freshmen year when he was placed in an upper class, and ever since then they'd been best friends.

Michael had never been exactly fond of Luke, their relationship was complicated. I mean, Michael didn't hate him, but he didn't exactly love the boy. The problem was that Luke had always acted younger than he was, and he was also extremely innocent, not to mention clingy. Michael often got annoyed by the constant tactic and whining to cuddle with his boyfriend. But at the end of the day, they were all still friends. 

"Maybe if you stood up for yourself some more, and you know, grew some balls-"

"Why? I already have balls, and they aren't fun. Why would I want another set?" Luke asked, innocently, also genuinely confused.

"Oh my god, it's an expression you-" Michael paused for a moment as he watched the younger boy open up his lunch box pulling out his sandwich, "Is that cut in the shape of a star?" Michael spoke, trying not to laugh.

Luke blushed, setting the food down for a moment, "Yeah," He said while shielding his face with the sleeves of his sweater, "I like stars," He mumbled, barely audible against the fabric.

"Wow," Michael said, trying not to be mean, because he could tell when enough is enough for Luke.

"Calum," Luke said, now even louder than his normal speaking voice, "Tell Mikey to stop being so mean," He whined.

"What! I didn't say anything!" Michael said, making Calum chuckle.

The kiwi boy ruffled Luke's hair playfully, wrapping his arm around him and pulling him into a small side hug, "He's just a big meanie," The older boy reassured.


	4. Chapter 4

"Jack, does it hurt?" Luke asked the boy laying in the hospital bed who was sporting a beanie, covering his bald head.

"Well Luke, it doesn't feel good." He responded making the sixteen year old pout.

This is how things have been for the past two years since Jack had developed pancreatic cancer. Jack being quite sarcastic and Luke being curious and confused. Luke was only fourteen when it started, and to say he was shocked was an understatement. His entire family basically fell apart- both financially and emotionally. 

Luke's dad started to stay out, claiming that he was working extra shifts, but Luke knew what that meant, and extra shifts didn't explain how he was always hungover when he returned home the next morning. Luke didn't understand why his father did the things that he did, and he found himself thinking about it more than often. At night, he finds himself imagining what he would do if any of his kids got diagnosed in the future when he has them. If that ever happened, Luke knew he would not distant himself, and he would most certainly stay close because he knows how it is to feel abandoned.

Even Luke's mom, who was always so sincere and genuine, had stopped caring. Luke would make the smallest mistake and he would get screamed at. It had to of been at least 10 months since he's heard the simple words "I love you Luke." It was obvious that she did love Luke, she just never said it anymore. Luke didn't want to blame Jack for this, because it wasn't his fault he had cancer, even though the older boy often did blame himself. Luke just wished he could have his old mother back, the one that was always there for him no matter what happened, but he knew that he would most likely never have her back, because you can't get the past back. You can only wish you could.

Liz used to always be there for Luke, for everything. When Luke's father called him a freak she would always stick up for her son. When Luke didn't understand something that he most likely should have, Liz was always gentle with the boy and helped him out, unlike the others who just laughed at him, or yelled. Liz understood Luke, and he wished she still did, because now when he's feeling alone and small, he doesn't have his mother to comfort him, all he has is his stuffed animal, and that gets old after awhile.

No one knew about Luke's at home life, because well, he didn't want people to know. The second you have an illness or someone in your family has an illness it's like everyone suddenly is your best friend and loves you, which Luke didn't want. He hated the idea of people talking to him only because his brother had cancer, so he just stayed silent. Sometimes Calum wondered why Luke was never home, or why the boy was always tired, but he had no idea what was going on in the blondes life. And because Luke is so quiet and to himself, he probably never would know.

Of course, that doesn't mean he doesn't like attention, the boy craved it. And as selfish as it was, even when his mother was hugging Jack and bawling, Luke wished it were him, because a simple hug would mean the world. Not even Ben, Luke's other brother, bothered to comfort Luke. Luke liked attention because it made him feel relieved, but unfortunately, he hasn't had that relieve in a long time.

"Just fucking tell me the truth already!" Luke heard a voice come from the hallway, he shook slightly as he recognized it as his mother's.

The doors which were once closed, flew open as Liz stormed in, a very frail and seemingly scared nurse followed behind her. This was something Luke was used to- he didn't like it- but he was used to it. Luke's mother definitely didn't care about hurting anyone's feelings anymore, that sense of guilt had left the woman years ago. 

"Mrs. Hemmings, I cannot do anything, he doesn't want to do that." The nurse said in a small voice.

"You know how long he has-"

"It's fine," Jack said sharply, "I don't wanna know how long I have left to live," Jack spoke, he tried to be loud, but his throat was too raw and damaged, so his voice remained quiet, but forceful.

"I do-"

"Mam, it's patients orders, if he refuses the information, then we cannot give it out." She spoke.

"I'm his mother, I have legal rights over him, he's my son, you have to tell me," She spoke.

"Uhm," The nurse mumbled while fumbling through her charts, "He told me he doesn't want to know, and he doesn't want anyone else to know," She said while biting her lip in fear of what Liz would say next.

Luke's mom always acted like this, she hated waiting and she wanted to know exactly what was going to happen. And as morbid as it sounds, she wanted to know how long her son had to live. Jack didn't even want to be alive anymore, and he knew that if he had a long time left, he would feel disappointed.

Liz groaned in frustration, burying her head in her hands before storming out. The nurse, who shot both the boys a sympathetic smile, soon followed after her.

"Why wont you let them tell you how long you have?" Luke asked while playing with the edge of the paper thin blanket. Jack scrunched his face up at the words, as if he thought his brother was the stupidest person alive for asking such a simple question.

"I don't need a confirmation to know that I am going to die soon, it's just logic," Jack spoke, "And death shouldn't be planed out, it just happens." He shrugged.

"But-"

"Look, Luke, would you really want to know how much longer to live if you were dying? I am already sick and tired of all this, I don't want a stupid doctor to tell me that I have so and so months left." He snapped, making Luke pout.

Luke wanted to understand, but he couldn't. Luke wasn't going through the same thing, which was obviously a good thing. It was also obvious that in a way Luke wanted to be able to relate to his brother, in any way, and he couldn't. Jack was the only one in his family that even acknowledged Luke, and the thought of having him gone was definitely not a good one. 

"I don't want yo to die," Luke mumbled, a bundle of tears gathering at the back of his throat which his tried his hardest to swallow away.

"It's a natural part of life Luke, I can't escape it," Jack spoke blankly, as if he didn't even care about it.

\----

Luke absolutely hated coffee, he didn't like the taste because it was to bitter and no one ever bothered to tell him that he could sweeten it up with some sugar or creamer. But here he was at 6 a.m sipping on a cup of black coffee in which he had sneaked into the teacher's lounge to get a hold of, cringing each time the liquid goes down his throat. It was Monday, which made things even worse because all Luke wanted to do was lay in bed and watch movies, maybe even call Calum over to cuddle, although Michael probably wouldn't like that. But no, the boy had to go to school, which he was in no mood for. He was extremely exhausted and didn't feel well enough to even participate in life.

The blonde haired boy sat on the ground of the floor, waiting for Michael and Calum to arrive. He was early because he didn't want to run into either of his parents who were always in their worst mood on Mondays. Sunday had been a bad day, Jack got to come home because they thought he was well enough, but as soon as they arrived, they had to head right back. Doctors were quite stupid, Luke thought, if he is ill he should stay in the hospital, not head home and risk getting worse.

Luke didn't want to start getting upset, because he knew if he did then it would be a hard feeling to shake. Once he gets sad, he stays sad. And when he's sad he is also grumpy, which means there would most definitely be tears shed at least three times by the end of the school day. Luke rubbed his eyes and pouted, trying to stay awake for the most part. He didn't feel his age, he hardly ever did anymore, he was okay a few months ago, the doctors actually thought he was going to be normal. But then something just snapped inside him, it was just like when he was thirteen again, only now, there was no sign of support from his family, they could only give their attention to one child it seemed, and right now that was Jack.

"Lukey, why are you on the ground," Calum said with a chuckle as he arrived, tearing Luke from his thoughts, while squatting down next to Luke.

Calum could read Luke like a book, he always knew when Luke wasn't feeling himself. And often the older boy got quite frustrated because he never knew exactly how to make Luke feel better. When Luke was feeling miserable it was like he was standing in quicksand, slowly sinking deeper and deeper the more he struggled to break free.

The brown haired boy was usually decent at saying the right thing at the right time. It was kind of like he had a 50% chance of not upsetting the boy. And he thought he was doing okay, but the second Luke's face folded into a pout and his eyes squeezed shut, Calum knew he had somehow messed up.

"I-I'm sorry! I- Mom a-and D-dad were still asleep s-so I left a-and you weren't here y-yet so I-" Luke said while hiccuping, making Calum refrain from groaning in frustration, he knew Luke couldn't help it. The older boy silenced Luke by grabbing his hand that didn't have coffee in it and pulling him up to his feet, leading him towards the boys bathroom.

"God Luke," Calum said while taking the cup from the boy once they reached the bathroom, "This stuff isn't good for you, plus you hate coffee," He spoke while tossing it into the bin.

"I-I'm tired," Luke whined, making Calum frown while pulling the boy into a hug. He comfortingly rubbed Luke's back, trying his hardest to calm him.

"Aren't we all," The kiwi boy joked, while pulling out of the hug, making Luke crack a small smile. 

"Now, what's wrong?" Calum asked, to say he was worried about Luke was an understatement.

"Just wanna go home and sleep," Luke mumbled while playing with his thumbs.

The bathroom fell silent, which Luke liked, to much chaos, even from just one person, made him feel uneasy. The only sound was the somewhat loud air vent that hung from the ceiling. The small window provided the room with a small orange tint from the sun that was still in the process of rising. Luke's red face, and eyes, still showed evidence that he had been crying, but the bags under his eyes shined brighter than the blotchiness.

Calum was the only one who knew why Luke acted the way he did. Luke didn't want anyone to find out, but Calum was an exception. One day Calum had went over to Luke's house and found him crying, and after hours of persuading, the blonde had eventually confessed his secret. Calum was greatly confused, and quite disturbed almost, but then Luke explained everything, his desires, his dreams and why he does what he does. Calum understood and he knew that it wasn't Luke's fault. It could have been anyone, and they might have had the same exact reaction. It was how Luke coped, and even though it was different, it definitely made him feel better. 

"C'mon, let's go find Mikey, he's probably looking for us-" Calum started to say, "Don't worry Luke, I'll tell him that you aren't in a good mood and that he needs to be nice," Calum finished, making Luke smile.

That's why Calum was his best friend, he actually cared and looked out for Luke, which Luke was extremely grateful for. The blonde boy felt safe and reassured when he had Calum by his side because he knew that if anyone were to mess with him, Calum would most definitely protect him Luke also knew that even though Michael sometimes acted like he hated him, at the end of the day, if Luke were hurt, Michael would be there to support him. Luke just deep down wished he had someone like Calum had Michael. He wanted a boyfriend, he wanted someone to show their love for him and take care of him. But Luke was worried about his future, he knew he was extremely weak and made him feel distressed to think someone could possibly not love Luke because of something like that, something that he can't help.


	5. Chapter 5

*Luke's P.O.V.*

Disney movies were so much more than amazing. They had the ability wrap themselves around me, singing their beautiful tunes into my ear, hugging me like I had longed for my entire life. When I feel as though I can never be worthy enough to have my own prince, even though it is extremely cliche, these movies make me feel like there will be someone out there for me. Although I love Disney movies, I keep having the recurring nightmare, the one about Ursula from The Little mermaid. Or the one where my mother finally calls it quits with my father, either way, I wake up feeling empty and scared.

My father loves to make me feel bad about myself, he acts as if it is his main goal in life. Like he woke up and the first thing like approaches his mind is "Lets make Luke feel even worse today". He pours his beverages down his throat in attempt to make everything look better in his eyes, but in mine, they aren't. He doesn't love me and he didn't even try to hide that. I don't think my mother loved me either but at least she had small gestures that made me feel like there was some love, my father didn't even bother anymore.

I was sick of being at the hospital, it scared me because everyone in the same building was either dying, or crying, maybe both. And not to mention, the place is most definitely haunted, I mean think of everyone who has died in the building. Walking through the halls was terrifying, I could almost hear the whispers of people screaming help into my ears. Ever corner I turn is like a horror movie as I await for something bad to happen, although nothing ever does happen, just me being paranoid.

"Luke, go down the street and buy yourself something, just get out of here for now," My mother told me, making my eyes widen to the size of quarters as she handed me eight dollars, all in ones.

"Mom I-"

I try to protest, even if it only was eight dollars, every bit counts. And we definitely could not afford anything, not with Jacks medical bills. Or with my therapy bills, hell, we could barely afford to eat some days.

"Luke, don't argue, buy whatever the hell you want, just go," She spits, I could tell she was in a bad mood, I don't blame her, I would be to if I were her. I open my mouth to speak, but she beats me to it, "Now." She chimes sharply, making me quickly detour out of the room.

I knew how to get to the store, seeing that it was only just down the street, and I've been there multiple times when my mom sends me to get her "lady things", apparently, things are limited at the hospital, or at least that's what she told me. I don't see why they wouldn't have those things at a hospital, I mean, aren't they important? Maybe she was just trying to help me improve on my social skills, if she even cared enough to do so.

I definitely have improved over the years, I am far more advanced at being independent, I think Jack being in the hospital and my parents constant arguing plays a big toll in that one. And when I do act younger, it isn't like it used to be, I can be alone and do it, before I used to have my mother by my side at all times. My thirteen year old self would probably run away from my current self, not that I am scary or anything, but three years ago my own shadow scared me.

As I walk into the shop, the door chimes, making a few workers turn their heads in my direction. I smile, because my mother always told me to do so when walking into stores, she said something about how it will make a good impression. And also, I don't want them to think I am stealing anything. That is usually what people think when a kid walks into a store. I don't have the bravery to even attempt to steal, and if I did succeed, I would probably feel guilty afterwards and end up going back to the shop to return whatever it was that I had taken.

I walk down the aisles, scanning my eyes everywhere for what I want. I knew exactly what it was that I wanted, but I didn't know where it was. I hate asking for help at stores, it makes me feel like I am a huge bother. I am certain these workers have better things to do than help a sixteen year old find something to buy for eight dollars. A sigh escapes my lips, this was going to be hell. 

"Excuse me?" I say in a small voice to the man behind the counter, he looked to be around twenty, and he was also like a skyscraper compared to me. I stood on my tiptoes, in attempt to make myself seem taller, and less scared, but it didn't do much difference.

The man didn't look like he should be working in a grocery store, I am not one to judge, but from the Rolex on his wrist, and his clean cut hair, he didn't fit in. Especially not with the rotten teeth, bleached hair and leathered skin of the mid forty year olds working along side him. 

 

He smiled down at me, flashing his dimples, making me blush, "What can I help you with sweetie?" He asked in as if he was speaking to a child.

Oh great, he thinks I'm twelve.

His voice was deep, but in a comforting way, not in an uneasy way, or like he was trying to show that he was superior to me. 

"Uhm, do you guys have... stuffed penguins." I spoke, which was more like a whisper, and I half expected him to laugh at me, but he didn't. That question probably fueled his belief that I am younger than I am.

Instead, he grinned and walked around the counter, "Follow me," He spoke.

I did just that, as we walked through the store.

"So, are you here alone? Is your mom with you?" He asks me.

I roll my eyes at his question, the question that I am most definitely used to. Everywhere I go alone it's like this. Sometimes at school teachers who don't know me will ask if I got pushed up a few grades, or they'll ask if I am in the wrong building. At first it didn't bother me, but now it's just annoying.

"No, I am old enough to shop alone," I retort, making him look back at me with a raised eyebrow.

He scanned me up and down, making me feel quite insecure. He probably didn't believe me, no one ever did. I didn't look that much younger than I was, in my opinion. It was just my height, a rough 5'6, okay and my hair, and my baby face. Maybe it was all of me.

"Really now? And how old is that?" He asks me.

"Sixteen," I say proudly, with a smile, which he returns with a half smile as his eyes flicker over me.

"All the sixteen year olds I know sure love stuffed penguins" He spoke as we were in front of the stuffed animals.

"Anyone can love whatever they want and-" I cut myself off as I stared at the collection in front of me.

There were four different types of the stuffed animals, making my mouth gape open. It was a hard decision, and the worker still stood next to me, watching me with a look of amusement, followed by laughter, but it wasn't the type where you knew they were making fun of you, almost the opposite, actually. I was indecisive, because you haven't experienced difficulty until you've tried to decide between which stuffed animal to get. 

"Which one should I get?" I ask while slightly tugging on his sleeve, making him smile fondly at me.

"Well," He said while picking up one, "You should get this one, because it's the cutest, like you," He said while handing me the stuffed animal, making my eyes widen.

A huff was heard from the lady stocking the shelves next to us, she looked to be at least 50. Her bones popped as she squatted downward to do her job, "Stop flirting with minors, Ash." She spoke with a slight wink. 

My face turned crimson, no one has ever flirted with me before. I suddenly wished I was better at things like this, because no matter how hard I tried, I could not think of something nice to say back. Flirting just wasn't my thing, and I am never good at taking compliments. Every time some does put in the effort to compliment me, I never know what to say and things always turn out awkward for the both of us.

"I- uh- I like your eyes!" I yelled, before covering my mouth, that was not the right thing to say, "I mean- I mean t-thank you." I said.

My face was equivalent to a tomato, which is something I hated about myself. The simplest things made me blush, and it seemed like I could always feel the heat rising upon my skin. The man ruffled my hair, making me pout, "Well, thank you, I like yours as well." 

Before I could reply with a thank you, he was already opening his mouth and speaking again. 

"What's your name?" He asked me, making me smile.

"Luke," I said shyly.

"Luke," He whispered, as if he was trying his hardest to keep it lodged into his brain. "I'm Ashton," He said while holding his hand out, which I shook.

"You're not like...thirty are you? Because my mom might not want me to talk to you anymore if you are." I said while playing with my thumbs and examining my feet as I prayed he wasn't thirty.

He chuckled, and it was like music to my ear, "No Luke," He said with a giggle, "I'm only 20." He spoke, making me sigh in relief.

"Well that's good- wait did that sound rude? Sorry- but honestly, you could be fifty and I'd probably still talk to you, I don't care what my mom thinks." I say.

Ashton covered his mouth with his hand as he let out a string of laughter, which was like music to my ears, "Well, I am flattered, are you ready to check out? I can ring you up if you are." He said, in which I nodded at.

He started walking away, so I followed him up to the front. I reached into my pocket and felt around for my money, a gasp left my lips and my eyes filled with tears as I realized it was gone. Just my luck, how do I manage to lose and mess up everything? Ashton turned his eyes towards me as he heard my gasp. I hated how worked up I get over everything, a normal person would have just let it go and came back a different day. But no, not me, no matter how hard I tried to stay calm, I always did the exact opposite. 

"Are you alright Luke?" He asked me in a soft voice, as if he was being extremely cautious about his tone.

I swallowed hard in attempt to dispose the tears, but to my luck, I failed as the wetness and salt tracked down my face. Mom was not going to be happy when she found out that I lost all of the money. I could already hear my fathers voice ringing through my head when she tells him I lost it, Eight dollars Luke, you couldn't even mange something as simple as that? I cringe and attempt to stop crying because I need to stop making a huge deal out of nothing. 

"Hey- what's wrong?" He asked while heading towards me.

"I-I lost the money a-and now my m-mom is- she's gonna hate me!" I cried out.

He wrapped his arms around my waist in attempt to calm me down, which I should think of as weird, extremely weird, seeing as we literally just met, and we were standing in the middle of a grocery store, but it wasn't. He smelled good, and it seemed like he had good intentions. He didn't seem like every other guy out there who only wanted me for one thing. Ashton seemed sincere and sweet, which made me feel happy. 

"Shh, I'll pay for it Luke," He said clearly.

"W-what?" I said, I heard him, but I was stunned.

"Hey, I have money, it's only right dollars, I don't want your mom to get mad at you Luke, it's not big deal, really." He said.

"T-Thank you Ashton," I said with a smile while wrapping my arms tighter around him.

"Under one condition." He spoke, making me pull away.

"What is it?" I ask curiously.

"You have to give me your phone number." He told me.

And so I did, because you gotta do what you've got to do for cute boys and stuffed penguins.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Could you guys plz comment? I am in constant need of reassurance, so anything helps. x

"Now Luke, how well are you conversing at school?" The middle aged women asked Luke concerned. 

Luke shuffled in his chair, obviously uncomfortable with this entire thing. He had a love hate relationship with therapy, some days he was all for it and excited, and others he absolutely despised it. Today was a definite nope. He was not in the mood to be talking about his problems, he was fully aware he had them, and he didn't need a professional to tell him that.

He had been in therapy for around two years, he started when Jack got diagnosed with cancer. Luke's mom didn't want her son to go into therapy, because she had a feeling it wouldn't be much help for the stubborn boy. Luke's father, on the other hand, wanted him to go. He didn't like the idea of only having one son that wasn't messed up in some way. Or maybe he was being a small bit sympathetic, which Luke tried to believe, but no matter how hard to tried to convince himself that, he just couldn't.

Luke shrugged lightly, because he seriously didn't know how well he was in school. Some days he could talk so much his throat felt raw, and others he would remain silent, "It depends," He spoke while fiddling with his thumbs.

"On what?"

"If other people talk to me," He said quietly, "I don't like to speak if it's obvious I'm being annoying." Luke mumbled.

Which was one hundred percent true, he could always tell when others were annoyed with him, when that realization kicks in, he just slowly silences himself. It goes both ways though, he can tell when people are interested, or if they're going to be as talkative as him. When he sees that he wont be the only keeping the conversation together, or the only one interested in it, he will speak.

"Do your friends know what happened?" She asked Luke, making him tense up, he hated thinking or talking about what happened.

"Just one." He spoke simply, not feeling in the mood to explain.

The past was the past, of course it hurt, but that doesn't mean he needs to speak to every person he knows about it. Talking about it makes him feel ever worse about it. Every time he gets close to forgetting about it, someone has to bring it up again. How can he get over it if everyone around him keep reminding him of it. Luke didn't understand why everyone around him focused on what happened years ago, more than they focused on what is happening now. 

Calum only knew because he walked in at a bad time, and because that, he felt obligated to tell him. Luke wasn't sure if he just wanted to attention then, or he actually wanted Calum to know, he was never certain on it. If Calum knew, Michael most likely did as well, Calum told Michael everything, even if Luke never wanted him to. 

She bit her lip while lowering her head towards her notebook, where she jotted some notes down. Luke always felt uncomfortable when she did that, he felt like he was a project of some sort, like she was studying him and writing key elements to remember, it made him feel nauseous. 

"Do you still get nightmares?" She said while raising her head quickly, making her glasses slide down the bridge of her nose, she made no effort to fix them.

"Mhm," He said while biting on his fingernail nervously.

"What are they about?"

"Don't wanna talk about it," He mumbled while wiping his face with the back of his hand, trying to stop tears from flooding from his eyes.

The therapist let out a sigh, her face had pity written all over it. Even though Luke absolutely hated to admit it, in a way he knew all of this will help one day. Just not today.

\----

Unknown number: Hey, it's Ashton

Luke was laying in bed trying to sleep when he got the text. A groan fell from his lips, he was almost asleep. He was in a state of being half asleep, so everything was groggy and confusing as he fished for his phone that was buried in his blankets.

Luke: hey x

He wanted to be say something snarky like "I was trying to sleep" but he didn't want to be rude, so he just decided against it. Besides, he was quite excited when he saw that Ashton had actually texted him. Ashton was definitely way out of the sixteen year old's league. Ashton looked like a model for a huge company, and Luke, on the other hand, felt like he could get away with modeling for a kids company. Luke also knew that his mother would most likely be furious if she found out that her son was talking to man that was four years older than him, but he didn't want the fear of his mother to stop him from speaking to the man. 

Ashton: How's your penguin? You still have him right? 

Luke chuckled, of course he still had the penguin. What would he even do with it? Luke liked how he asked about the stuffed animal, it gave him the impression that he cared about small things like that, even though Luke thought maybe it was more of a "I spent 8 dollars on a stuffed animal for a total stranger, so you better not have lost it" more than a "I am insanely interested" question, but either way, Luke didn't mind. 

Luke: Duh, I love him, haven't lost him and I don't plan on doing so anytime soon.

Ashton was glad he hadn't lost the thing, he wouldn't have been surprised if Luke had lost the penguin though. It was obvious to the twenty year old that the boy was very anxious and forgetful, Luke made that very clear the second he met Ashton. 

Ashton: What did you name him? 

Luke blushed, he liked talking about things like this, and he emerged really got to do so. Calum didn't really care about the new stuffed animals he got, he pretended to, but it wasn't hard for Luke to tell that he wasn't interested.

Michael just liked to tease him about it, he was basically asked to be picked on when he started a conversation like "Guess what my mom bought me yesterday!", which made Luke upset. You should be able to talk about things that make you gleeful without having to worry about what others will say or do. Luke had never met anyone that was interested in the same things as him, at least no one his age. Calum claimed he was interested, but it was obvious that Luke interests were set way to young for his age.

Luke: His name is Ashy. 

Luke debated on whether he should send that, or just make up a different name to tell Ashton. It would probably sound really lame if he told the boy he just met that he named his stuffed animal after him. Either way, Luke just clicked send. He couldn't think of a better name, and maybe Ashton would think it was cute. 

Ashton: Is that coincidental? 

Luke blushed deeply, he wanted to lie, but he couldn't. Butterflies formed in his stomach as he typed his reply. 

Luke: not a coincidence, I named him after you 

Ashton couldn't stop himself from smiling as he read that text. He liked Luke a lot, he thought the boy was straight up intriguing and different from the other guys he had talked to before, not that there were much. A part of Ashton almost wished Luke were older, or he were younger, so they could be closer to each other age, and this entire thing wouldn't feel like a hug secret. But then again, Ashton could tell that Luke may have taken an interest because he was older, which was part of the reason.

The blond didn't want to be screwing around with high school boys who only want him for a quick fuck. Luke wanted something real, he wanted someone who cared about him and his well being. he wanted someone who wanted a future, someone who could see one. Ashton could do all that, maybe it was also because he was financially stable and if they did have a future together it wouldn't consist of food stamps and misery. 

Ashton: not even going to lie when I say this, you're insanely adorable

Luke smiled widely at his phone. He loved being called cute, it made him feel as giddy inside. And the fact that Ashton had called him it made him feel better about himself. Before Luke could even reply, Ashton had already sent something else.

Ashton: shouldn't you be sleeping? it's late on a school night. 

Luke frowned, he didn't want to go to sleep now. He was perfectly fine with feeling dead the next day at school, especially if it meant he got to stay awake and talk with Ashton. The boy knew it was late, well for Luke it was, any other person wouldn't think so, but he just didn't care. 

Luke: I'll be okay. I'm not tired and I wanna talk to you :-(

The sixteen year old cuddled his stuffed penguin closer to his body, feeling the fleece brush against his cheek made him feel safe. He was so happy that he met Ashton, and he wasn't about to let the conversation die just because he had school the next day.

Ashton: I know you do baby, but you'll be tired in the morning.

Maybe the pet name was a bit of a stretch, Ashton thought, but he had a feeling Luke would like it, and it would make him more persistent about going to sleep. Luke loved it, he also liked how Ashton cared about him, even if it was the simplest gestures ever. It meant the world to Luke. 

Luke wasn't used to having someone care about moments like this, maybe a knock on the door from his mom and a whisper of "lights out", but that was all. Nobody really bothered anymore to make sure Luke was doing okay, and it felt odd to suddenly have it, but it also felt nice.

The blond smirked as he wrote up his reply, he was curious as to of what Ashton would say to this one, almost like he was testing his limits and boundaries. 

Luke: so?

Ashton: so you should sleep, if you're tired you'll be grumpy. We wouldn't want that? Would we? 

Luke pouted, Ashton was right, unfortunately. He would also be extremely sensitive and cry a lot, he hated feeling like that. He didn't want his day to be like that, because hen his entire schedule gets messed up due to the fact that he will need a nap when he gets home. Also, it made school work absolutely impossible for the boy. Luke always tried his hardest in school in hopes to make his parents proud, and when he was tired he could not focus or get his work done.

Ashton: and I don't want you to be tired while I take you out for dinner. 

Luke: what 

Luke's eyes widened, he had never been asked out on a date before. Guys at school often threw slurs at him like "meet me in the janitors closet", which he never did, but that's all he ever got. Or maybe a slap on his ass followed by a wink and a number being pushed into his hands, but that was all. He had never been asked to dinner before.

Guys at school we're scumbags, all they wanted was to get in Luke's pants, then leave. All they wanted was sex and to humiliate whoever they have decided to have sex with, which scared Luke all around. And the handful of the guys that were into boy, were also in the closet, so it was even worse. Luke knew from what Calum had said that after they are done with you, they are done with you, but they wont forget to text you every few weeks and remind you that if you tell anyone their secret, they will make you regret it. He often worried that all guys were the same way. Ashton was living proof that Luke's fear was in fact, not true. Ashton was definitely different. 

Sometimes it can be hard to decipher if one's intentions are good or bad over text, but Luke wasn't that oblivious. Some guys would take advantage of Luke's vulnerability, but Ashton was far from being that low. Luke was being as cautious as he could be, which may not have been much, to look for warning signs that Ashton wasn't crossing the line between caring and taking advantage. 

Ashton chuckled as he typed. He wanted to get to know Luke better, and he didn't like the idea of doing that over text. It would be much easier to take him out, at least then they could talk face to face. Over text wasn't exactly genuine, Luke had time to think things out over text, and Ashton wondered if he would have said some of the things that he did if they were talking in person.

Ashton: tomorrow, once you get out of school how would you like me to take you out for dinner? 

Luke: I would like that. I can't drive though :( 

Ashton huffed at that, he knew they boy probably couldn't drive, but luckily he could. Even if Luke could drive, Ashton knew that he would still be the one driving. He wanted this date to be a surprise for the younger boy.

Ashton: Don't worry, I'll drive, just text me your address tomorrow and I'll pick you up around 5? Is that okay? 

Luke smiled, he was ecstatic. He didn't even know what to do, he wanted to scream in excitement, but everyone in the house was asleep, and if he woke them up they would not be happy. He almost got out of bed to wake his mom up so he could tell her, maybe then she'd be proud of him. But once again, he decided against it and just rolled over so his face was in his pillow, he let out a small scream before texting Ashton back. 

Luke: okay :-) uhm..what should I wear? I don't wanna over dress but I don't wanna under dress.. 

Luke: I don't want people to think I'm weird.

Ashton frowned at that, he didn't understand why anyone would think Luke was weird. He wasn't like others his age, but that doesn't mean he is weird. He was just unique. Luke was the most sincere person ever, he was so genuine and Ashton couldn't wait to get to know him better.

Ashton: people won't think you're weird, trust me x just wear some jeans and a nice shirt, nothing fancy, it'll be okay x 

Ashton: I think it's time for you to go to bed now, Luke

Luke: fine, goodnight Ashton.

Ashton: goodnight luke, sweet dreams x

Luke then fell asleep with a smile on his face and his stuffed penguin cuddled to his chest. The only thing running through his mind was the thoughts of everything that could happen the next day. Although he was nervous, he was extremely excited and happy. And maybe he felt a little guilty that he was going to stay home while his parents were at the hospital with Jack, but he knew Jack would understand if he ever told him, which he had no plans to.


	7. Chapter 7

Luke takes in a deep breath, letting the brisk air around him wander into his lungs. A grey lonesome rock collides with his foot each step he takes, trailing in few feet in front of him for miles. Luke's eyes watched as the large glowing sphere rose slowly into the dull morning sky. Casting sunbeams in every direction while it illuminated around his lanky body. The morning sky was Luke's favorite element of scenery, it never failed to make him feel complete. Everything was calm, not even the birds were singing their usually melodies. It was almost as if he was in a ghost town-

A hard kick on Luke's desk made him jolt awake quickly, startled. The boy's blue eyes widen in shock as he scanned around the room, everyone was looking at him. He was not having a nice morning walk, instead, he was in physics class. A familiar rosy color formed on his cheeks as he snapped his head down towards his small hands to avoid anymore humiliation. This has been happening more than usual lately, because of the lack of sleep he was receiving at home. Luke wouldn't be surprised if he got kicked out of the class soon, he didn't even know what they had been discussing for the past week. 

"Mr. Hemmings," The teacher who was still stood in front of the blond's desk spoke sternly, "Since you are just enjoying my class so much, how about you answer my question," He spoke while crossing his arms over his chest. He gave the boy one of those typical teacher smiles, the ones that know exactly what they are doing when they ask a student a question, and they know exactly that the student doesn't know the answer.

The sixteen year old rubbed his blue eyes tiredly, "Huh?" He asked confused.

"Oh right, you were asleep when I asked that," He spoke, making Luke have to resist rolling his eyes, he knew that would just cause more trouble, "Think back to last week, what was the formula for velocity?" The man had a look of amusement written all over his face, making Luke feel angry, "You should have learned this in 7th grade as well."

Luke stared at the teacher, his eyes begging for some sympathy, but he didn't get any. Luke just woke up, he was in no state to even add two plus two, and he was supposed to be remembering the formula for velocity? Besides, if he supposedly learned it in 7th grade and was expected to remember it, then why even bother teaching it again. Luke hated all sciences, and was only in this class because his good grades in every other class, his guidance counselor put him in, and he had zero say in it.   A few people around the room shared some chuckles- Luke wasn't dumb, he knew they were laughing at him. 

"You tell me," Luke mumbled sarcastically, trying to lighten the mood to ease his embarrassment.

"Hm," The teacher hummed with a look of satisfaction on his face, "You see class, this is what a future college dropout looks like," He says while pointing at Luke, making a few students laugh, but most of them looked at Luke with sympathetic glances, "Sleep at night, not here," He finished while walking away.

Luke just pouted, because he still didn't know the goddamn formula for velocity. Luckily for Luke, he had slept for a good portion of the class, and the bell had rung through the his ears. making him quickly rise from his seat. Also, lunch was next, which meant Luke could possibly sleep some more if he wanted to, one period was not enough to rest for tonight, Luke thought.

The lunch room was crowded so Luke contemplated on whether he should even eat today or not. He wished his school had open lunch, so he could escape and nap outside were it was quieter, but he couldn't. Besides, Ashton was taking him out later and if he ate now, he might not even be hungry at dinner. He stood up on a chair searching through the loads of people for Calum, or Michael. But knowing them, they were probably together making out at the table. Luke let out a sigh of relief when he saw Calum- which as usual, had his body leaning against Michael's, Calum playing lightly with Michael's fingers.

"Hey," He said while sliding into the chair. His phone vibrated in his pocket, which he quickly took out. A wide smile was plastered across his face as he saw the text on his screen.

Ashton: I'll be at your house at five to pick you up, sleep well last night?

Luke smiled and started to reply, but his phone was snatched out of his hands in a quick motion, causing him to gasp and look up at the culprit. It was to late, as Michael's eyes scanned over the device, "Awww," He teased, "Our little Lukey has a date," He said, making Luke pout and reach out for his phone, but failed as Calum took it. The brown haired boy's eyes looked at Luke after he was done reading the one text. Calum looked curious, so Luke just took a breath, waiting to be bombarded with tons of questions.

"Who's Ashton? Does he go to this school?" Calum asked while sliding Luke's phone across the table. Michael smirked, as if all of it was extremely entertaining to him. Luke fiddled with his fingers nervously, not wanting to tell Calum that Ashton wasn't even in school anymore, but also not wanting to lie, because he knew that would most likely backfire.

"Uhm, not exactly," He said while scratching the back of his neck, "Well, he might have."

"What?" Michael asked, feeling confused, Calum felt the same way, staring at Luke with questioning eyes, "How old is this guy?" Calum asked.

Luke sighed while sliding his phone into his pocket, "Twenty," He mumbled. Michael's eyes widened in shock, the purple haired boy didn't think Luke would ever get someone his own age, let alone someone four years older.

"Jesus Luke," Michael mumbled, "You shouldn't be dating guys that much older than you," He finished, making the younger boy roll his eyes. 

"It's only four years, not really a big deal, it's not like he's some old creep, he's a good guy," Luke defended, making the other two shake their heads, "And since when do you care about what I do?"

 

"Hey, stop, there's probably a reason he can't get with people his own age Luke," Calum said, "He's just going to take advantage of you." The boy finished, making Luke narrow his eyes.

"No he wont!" Luke whined, "He's different I swear, he wouldn't do something like that," He spoke while sliding down into his chair, an obvious pout placed on his lips, making the other two frown.

"Just be careful, we don't want you to get hurt." Michael said.

"I wont," Luke spoke forcefully, while rolling his eyes, "You guys always tell me to get a date, and when I do you guys just complain," Luke argued.

Luke knew what he was getting himself into. He also knew that there would be consequences if something were to go wrong. But he didn't exactly care, and he couldn't imagine anything going wrong with Ashton. Ashton was the nicest person that had ever made a move on Luke, and the blond was fully aware of that. Most guys that tried to talk to Luke only wanted one thing- and that was sex. But Ashton seemed different, Luke could sense it, it just felt right with the twenty year old. Maybe it was the way he acted when Luke broke down while meeting him for the first time. Most guys wouldn't know what to do in a situation like that, but Ashton did. And Luke needed someone like that in his life.

"We're not complaining we're jus-" Michael tried to say, but got interrupted by Luke.

"Can we just change the subject, I'm excited about being with Ashton and you guys and really ruining it," Luke said while leaning his head against the table, exasperated with the constant back and forth arguing.

"You know what- fine," Calum said, also feeling quite tired of the conversation, "How was class?" He asked, not really sure what else to say, but not wanting there to be awkward silence at the table.

Luke sighed, he absolutely hated physics, everyone did. It wasn't the subject that was bad, not for the most part at least. It was the teacher. Everyone in the school who has or had him hated the man. People who had already had him always have sympathy for those who are still dealing with him, like Luke. He abused his position way to much, and if anyone ever complained about it to the principal, they would just end up in more trouble. Like, if Luke went and told the situation, he would get yelled at for falling asleep again, instead of Mr. Roth being told to stop being an ass to kids.

Yeah, Luke shouldn't have fallen asleep, he knew that, but in no way does that justify being called out, humiliated, and then not even bothering to tell him the answer to the question that he used against him. Luke hated the way some of the teachers dealt with issues.

"Terrible," Luke said, his cheek still pressed up against the table, tears forming at the back of his throat. Calum and Michael shared concerned glances, preparing themselves to see a crying Luke, something they still have not gotten used to, which was surprising, seeing how much Luke cries on a daily basis.

"What'd he do this time?" Michael questioned, making Luke slump his shoulders and raise his head so he was looking directly at the other two.

"I didn't know what the stupid formula for velocity was so he announced to the entire class that I look like a future college drop out," Luke said while biting his lip, he didn't want to cry over something so dumb.

That was the main thing Luke hated about school: teachers. Luke hated how they thought they were so much better than all of the students. Luke was lucky to have a few nice teachers, but it seemed the other had to prove that they were more powerful than their students by being absolutely rude and obnoxious. 

School would actually be quite enjoyable, and Luke, as well as many other students struggling, probably wouldn't be if they had supportive teacher's by their side instead of arrogant ones. 

"Don't let it get to you Luke, Mr. Roth is an asshole to everyone," Michael said, "So just do what you've got to do and then get the fuck out and you'll never have to deal with that dickhead again," Michael finished.

"Will do," Luke said while resting his head back on the table in hopes to get some sleep, but the loud cafeteria made him think otherwise.

\-----

Luke's room looked like a tornado had just struck, literally. Clothes were all over the floor, even his shoes were thrown all over the place. He let out a loud scream of frustration, he was home alone so he didn't have to worry about anyone hearing him. Luke had never been on a date, so he had no idea what to wear, and Ashton was going to arrive soon. Luke's hair was styled flat against his forehead, the way he always has it. All he was dressed in was a pair of briefs. Maybe it was a good thing Luke had never been on a date, he had a feeling that every time it would go something like this, no doubt.

The doorbell rung loudly through the house, making Luke gasp. He was definitely not ready to go and Ashton was going to think he was an unprepared slob. The blond boy buried his head in his hands, he had no idea what to do. The doorbell rung again, making Luke groan. 

Maybe I can just ditch it, Luke thought, he then shook his head. Ditching it is a terrible idea, he had waited so long to have an opportunity like this, especially with someone like Ashton, and he didn't want to ruin it because his inexperienced self didn't know how to dress. His phone started vibrating loudly on his bed, making him curse as he saw that Ashton was calling him. Maybe he would understand, he had to understand. 

"H-hello," Luke said quietly.

"Hey, did you forget? I'm on your porch right now," Ashton said with a nervous chuckle. 

"I- uh- this is going to make me sound like the lamest person ever..." Luke spoke.

"Yeah?" 

"... I don't know what the hell to wear," Luke said while closing his eyes. 

He expected Ashton to let out a long agitated sigh, or maybe even a groan, but he didn't. Instead he laughed, and not in a way that he was making fun of Luke. He laughed lighthearted, insantly calming Luke down.

"How about you let me in, and I'll help you pick something out?" Ashton said, making Luke sigh.

"You're not mad?" He asked.

"Why would I be mad? I think it's cute that you're so indecisive, now come out here and let me in," Ashton said while hanging up before the sixteen year old could reply. 

Luke grabbed a blanket off his bed, wrapping it around his body so he wasn't so exposed, and quickly headed out of his room. The blond took a deep breath before opening up the door.

Ashton scanned his eyes over Luke's body before letting out a laugh, "Cold?" He asked him.

"I- uh- I didn't want to answer the door in only my boxers, I thought that would be rude," Luke spoke cutely while playing with the a loose thread on the blanket, "An embarrassing on my part."

Ashton cooed at how adorable the boy was, before taking his hand and leading him into the empty house. Luke's family had obvious issues with money, so Luke's house was small and messy. Ashton tried his hardest to ignore the piles and piles of bills laying all over the dining table. Not to mention, the entire place seemed extremely dark and gloomy, Ashton couldn't even begin to imagine living there. There was a foul odor, which Ashton recognized as milk when he saw the old carton sitting on the kitchen counter. 

Luke didn't look anything like he came from a home like this, so cluttered and tiny, and insanely unkempt. The boy was clean, always smelled nice, and he was soft, which may be a weird way to describe him, but it seemed fitting. Ashton expected him to live in a white wall, lavender smelling, country home, one that was cozy and made you feel good inside, that is what Luke looked like.

It was like he could detect something was off, so Luke spoke up "Sorry about my house, I wish I had an excuse for it, but I can't really think of one," Luke trailed of.

Ashton sighed, feeling guilty "Don't worry about it, its just a house."

The younger one wished he could believe that, but he couldn't. His house was a mess, and it was embarrassing. He wished he would've cleaned up a bit, but he was too busy destroying his room. Besides, it would take forever to get the house even remotely clean, and the next day it would be right where it was before.

"Which room is yours?" Ashton asked as he stood in the narrow hallway.

"It's right here," Luke spoke while opening up the door.

"Jesus, you weren't lying when you said you didn't know what to wear," Ashton spoke while fumbling through the clothes on the ground. Ashton smiled as he spotted the stuffed penguin, placed neatly on Luke's bed, look to be the only thing that wasn't messy in the room. 

Ashton had tried to imagine what Luke's room would look like, and what he saw definitely didn't match his train of thoughts. He had though Luke's would have bright colors and stuffed animals everywhere, but that wasn't the case, at all. Which after seeing the rest of his house, it wasn't surprising to him at all. It was obvious his family had little to no money, and they couldn't afford to give Luke a room to match his personality. Ashton understood this, but he couldn't relate.

Luke looked over at Ashton, as if he was reading his thoughts, and frowned.

"You should let me come over tomorrow and I can help you clean this mess up," Ashton spoke while picking up a pair of black pants and handing them to Luke. 

"My parents might be home," Luke said with a pout, "And I don't think that would turn out very well," Luke said sadly.

Luke loved how Ashton spoke to him as if they hadn't just met. Ashton just talked and didn't care what he said, an advantage that the man always had, he was never one to play out his words and make them perfect, sometimes he wouldn't even think before he spoke, he said what he wanted to. Luke, on the other hand, was still getting used to the twenty year old, and seemed to be the exact opposite on term of talking. And Ashton fully understood that.

He wasn't always like that though, it was just with new people that he isn't comfortable with. Once that barrier is broken, Luke could talk for hours without a care in the world. Often, that would get him into a bit of trouble. Frequently, he will talk about things that he shouldn't talk about, but no one ever seemed to do anything about it, besides yell. Ashton seemed like the first person Luke had met that may actually do something about it, Luke kept note of that, he didn't want to get himself into trouble with one of the few people to have an interest in Luke.

"Put this shirt on with those pants, I'll look for some shoes for you," Ashton said while handing the boy a light blue shirt, making Luke smile, it was his favorite color. Ashton had picked it for the main reason that it matched his eyes.

Luke stood there insecurely as he dropped the blanket to the floor, quickly pulling the shirt over his head to cover himself up before Ashton turned back around. Just as he was about to pull his jeans up his legs, an awkward cough from behind him made him stop.

"Luke? You've kinda got it on backwards," Ashton said while biting his lip in attempt to not laugh, he could tell Luke was getting quite upset with himself, and he didn't want to make the boy feel worse.

"I'm sorry," Luke said while dropping the pants, "I'm wasting your time- a-and you're probably annoyed because w-we could've already been at d-dinner-"

Ashton could tell Luke was about to start crying, so he quickly started rubbing his back in a gentle motion, "Hey, hey, We're okay Luke, we've got all the time we need," Ashton spoke.

The twenty year old knew what he was getting himself into, he could tell that Luke was different from other kids his age, that wasn't hard to distinguish. Ashton could tell Luke was extremely sensitive, he had to extra cautious about that. The one thing that Ashton definitely did not want to do was hurt the boy, the thought of doing that made him feel sick to his stomach. There was something about Luke, something intriguing, Ashton wanted to know what was causing Luke to be the way he is. These types of things don't just happen for no reason, there has to be something causing it.

"How about we go over to my place and just watch movies? I can tell that maybe tonight isn't a good night to go out, we can have dinner a different night," Ashton spoke gently.

"I- uh- my friend told me that when a guy says to watch movies it means that he wants to get in my pants and I'm not re-"

"Luke, no," Ashton said, trying to hide his laugh, "No sex, just movies, but first, you should probably put something comfortable, or at least turn your shirt around," Ashton said.

Luke pouted, a blush on his face. He liked Ashton, most guys would have already been frustrated with him by now, but Ashton wasn't. The twenty year old carefully helped Luke take his shirt off, which Ashton knew he was capable of doing himself, but he knew it would make Luke feel better if he helped. The younger one slid a pair of sweatpants over his legs before throwing a sweatshirt on and slipping into his shoes.

The blond boy blushed as he grabbed the stuffed penguin off of his bed, making Ashton smile at how adorable he was. He wasn't even trying to be cute, he just felt anxious and having a stuffed animal made him feel more secure.

"Ready?" Ashton asked.

Luke latched onto Ashton's hand with his free one, "Ready," He spoke.


	8. Chapter 8

"How far away from my house do you live?" Luke asked nervously while playing with the fur on his penguin.

He had started to regret even coming, he barely knew Ashton and it wasn't a good idea to agree to going to the man's house. Luke kept trying to convince himself that everything would be okay, but his brain would not shut up long enough for him to calm himself down. The sixteen year old took a deep breath, trying not to panic. He was okay. Everything was going to be okay. 

It wasn't that he didn't trust Ashton, he couldn't make that judgement yet. It was just that he has heard so many stories in his life about how you shouldn't go certain places with certain people, and although Luke knew Ashton most definitely would never hurt him, he still had that feeling in his gut, the one he always has. 

"I live in the suburbs, it might take a few minutes," Ashton spoke while patting the younger boy's thigh, which Luke didn't even know he needed until he got it, "Did you tell your mom you're going on a date?" Ashton asked Luke concernedly.

"No," Luke replied. She probably wouldn't have cared at all, or she would have cared to much, Luke didn't want to risk it either way, "I told her I was going to my friends house," Luke said.

Ashton nodded while focusing on the road. Luke wanted to make conversation, but he was preoccupied with his stuffed penguin, humming softly to it. The blond was also quite embarrassed about everything that happened, Ashton had barely known the boy and he had already seen him clad in only boxers, the thought of that made heat rise to his cheeks. He was also embarrassed because the two were supposed to being going on a date, but like everything else, Luke had ruined that.

"You could tell her, you know. I don't want you to be worried about the outcome," Ashton spoke, "And I don't think you should lie to her."

Luke shook his head, "It's not that really, I mean, it's more complex, her and I aren't close anymore." 

Ashton wanted to question why not anymore, but they arrived at his house, and he didn't want to intrude or upset Luke by asking further questions. Besides, Ashton could relate, things happen and you just don't connect with people that you may be required to.

The twenty year old turned in a driveway, where a small, but nice house was placed. Luke raised his eyebrows, feeling quite impressed. He had expected that Ashton would be living in a small rundown apartment, which wouldn't have been a bad thing but it just seemed he had a small paying job. The boy kind of felt ashamed that Ashton's house was nicer than his, it just didn't seem fair or right. Luke looked around, feeling grateful that the man lived in a nice neighborhood, he took note of that, in case something bad did happen.

The twenty year old had a lot of money because of his family, he just wasn't exactly keen on spending it on huge houses and pointless things. He kept it all saved away, he liked the feeling of knowing that money wont ever be an issue for him. The reason why he worked at a store was simply because he wanted something to do with his free time, seeing that he was a single man, and only had a handful of friends. Of course, working there wasn't exactly fun, but he did like meeting new people, like Luke. Also, Ashton would feel completely useless if he didn't have a job, even if it was just at a store, and not as a doctor like his mother would have preferred. 

Ashton also felt that certain people would use him for his money if he made it clear that he had it. The lifestyle he had growing up was not at all what he wanted for rest of his life. He didn't even have any animals, so a huge house would just result in loneliness, which is what Ashton had always tried to avoid.

The house was a slightly off beige color, with a bright red door. Luke pictured flowers that should be there if it wasn't mid autumn, Luke hoped that he would have Ashton in his life long enough for him to witness that. The house gave Luke a small bit of comfort, it reminded him of something his grandmother would live in, which might have been something negative for certain people, but Luke didn't think so, not at all.

Ashton lightly tapped Luke's thigh, interrupting his thoughts, "You're nervous, I can tell," Ashton spoke, making Luke look down, embarrassed, "You don't have to be, alright? We're just going to watch some movie, talk, and order pizza, doesn't that sound fun?" Ashton reassured, "And then afterwards I can drive you home, and maybe we can stop and get some ice cream."

Luke liked how Ashton could sense he was nervous and he tried to calm him down. It made him feel slightly better. Luke needed that in his life, he needed to know exactly how things were going to be, or else he'd be anxious. Even doing simple things like bathing he'd have to make sure that someone in his house would be home, if he didn't he would feel unsafe. 

Staying home alone was a hard thing for him, but most of the time he didn't have much of a choice. His parents would leave while he was sleeping, even though they knew what that did to the poor kid. Most people couldn't read Luke, they just assumed that it was just his face, and that nothing was wrong, or they didn't know what to do, so they did nothing.

The blond smiled lightly, but Ashton couldn't see that because half of his face was concealed by the stuffed penguin, "T-that sounds fun," Luke mumbled quietly, not even sure if Ashton had heard him, but he had.

"Well, come on then," Ashton spoke while opening his car door and getting out. Luke took a deep breath before doing the same.

This was a big step for Luke, a huge step. He never went to anyone's house, not even Calum's. The young boy had always envied those who could easily go out and have fun without constantly worrying about literally everything. But for some odd reason, it was different with Ashton. With Ashton, Luke didn't have the sick feeling in his stomach at all times, not anymore. Of course his hands still felt numb, but it was nothing compared to how things usually were.

The twenty year old fumbled with his house key, trying to hurry because the cold early autumn wind was ripping violently against both of the boys' skin. Luke stood back, feeling slightly awkward, he protected his face with the stuffed penguin, which only provided some warmth. Luckily, Ashton pulled the door open, stepping out of the way as he signaled Luke to go inside first. The blond slightly flinched as he felt Ashton's hand in the small of his back guiding him into the warm house which smelled like cinnamon and linen. 

"You can take your shoes off right there," Ashton spoke, which Luke quickly did as he was told.

"Uh- you- uhm- you have a beautiful home," Luke said while look up at Ashton with innocent blue eyes.

Which was true, Ashton's house was extremely cozy, the walls were painted brown, and were decorated with pictures of him and his family, there was also some art work on the walls, making Luke's head tilt as he studied them. A desk was placed in the far corner of the room, Luke could see a an open laptop sat on it, and sticky notes covering the wooden desk, the boy started to wonder if Ashton was a writer. The living room wasn't big, but it wasn't small, it seemed to be the perfect size. There was a short hallway that led to the kitchen, and from what Luke could see, it all looked nice, nice and safe. The house wasn't huge at all, which made sense since Ashton was the only one living there. 

Ashton laughed lightly at Luke's statement, it made him feel like an old man for some odd reason and he had almost thought the boy was joking, until he looked at him. Luke had his lip in between his teeth, an obvious blush plastered on his cheeks.

"Thank you Lukey boy," Ashton said while ruffling his hair, which made the blond pout, "You are definitely the politest sixteen year old I've ever met." Ashton said.

From the look and Luke's face, it was certain that the boy liked to be praised, Ashon made sure to remember that, "My mum always told me to be polite no matter who the person is, she said it makes a good impression," Luke took a deep breath, "But I guess I'm a bit late on that one.." Luke rambled.

Ashton could tell Luke was already getting comfortable to be around him, from the start of there "date" Luke would barely even speak full sentences to the man. Now he was talking as if he were loosening up a bit, which Ashton was grateful for. It's hard to get to know someone if they are so timid, but Ashton wouldn't have Luke any other way.

"The first time I met you I bought you that penguin, I don't buy stuffed animals for just anyone Luke," Ashton spoke, "If you hadn't of made a good impression, I wouldn't have asked you on a date," Ashton said with a wide smile, which Luke mimicked. 

"You want something to drink?" Ashton asked Luke while walking into the kitchen, Luke followed behind him like a lost puppy, looking around at the mahogany cabinets. The blond bit his lip as he was in thought, "I have water, tea, coffee, soda..."

"D- do you have any juice?" Luke asked shyly, "If not, water is fine," Luke said with a smile.

Ashton scanned his eyes over the open fridge, his mouth gaped slightly open, "Apple juice okay?" Luke nodded slightly, which Ashton had barely recognized. The blond boy chewed nervously on his bottom lip as Ashton poured the liquid into a cup.

"You need to stop doing that," Ashton spoke while handing Luke the cup.

"Huh?" Luke questioned, not sure exactly what he needs to stop doing, there was definitely a lot of things he needed to stop doing.

For example, he needs to speak up more. Every time he thinks of something to say, his conscience always makes him feel like whatever he was about to say, is not important. This is something that many people get mad at him for, but no matter how hard he tries, it seems he can never push away that voice at the back of his head that always tells him to keep his mouth shut.

"You need to stop biting on your lip," Ashton spoke, "I can't kiss you if you're lip is bleeding," He mumbled the last part, so Luke hadn't heard.

"Sorry," Luke mumbled, still biting on his lip. 

Ashton brought his finger up to the boy's lip, signaling him to stop. If Luke hadn't had been so innocent, he most likely would have caught onto the sexual tension in the air, but he hadn't. Ashton tried to ignore it, he was only trying to get the blond to stop.

"Movies?" Ashton spoke up after the room fell completely silent for a few moments. 

"A-and pizza?" Luke asked with a sly smile. 

"You can't have movies without it." 

\-----

"What movie do you wanna watch? We don't have to be all that into it, we can just have it as a background.." Aston trailed off as Luke scanned his eyes over the shelve filled with numerous movies. 

"B-background for what?" Luke asked, his face flaming. 

"Well, I want to get to know you better, you know, learn some things about you." Ashton spoke, making Luke sigh in relief. 

"So, if you don't mind me asking, is there anything I should know about you?" Ashton asked him. 

Luke froze in his place, he really did not want to tell Ashton about his desires, he knew that Ashton would most likely mistake it for sexual desires, and it wasn't in any way like that, he really did not want that. But Luke knew that he had to warn Ashton, and be very clear on what exactly was wrong with him. It would be one thing if Luke could help how he was feeling and turn it off, he definitely would, it would make everything so much easier. He couldn't turn it off though, and if Ashton couldn't handle the way he was, then a relationship with him would never work out, ever.

"Well...I- uh...I get...clingy..." Luke spoke, completely unsure how to explain his feelings. 

Ashton took a sip of his tea and nodded, "That's no big deal, I think everyone does."

Luke furrowed his eyebrows together, feeling frustrated that he couldn't find the right words the describe his issues, he wished Ashton would just know it automatically, so he wouldn't have to attempt to explain himself "N-not like that... I mean I get- its not that simple."

The boy was interrupted by the ringing of the doorbell, signaling that the pizza was there. Ashton sighed, "Let me get that," He spoke. 

Luke pouted and turned his attention back to the bookcase. Ashton had tons of movies that he loved, but nothing perked his interest. Most of the movies in his collection were either comedy or horror, and a few Disney movies. Luke hated horror movies for the obvious reason, they scared him far to much for his liking. Luke was neutral on what he thought of comedies, he just hated how he never understood the jokes that everyone else had no problem getting.

"See any you like?" Ashton asked the younger boy as he walked back into the room, a pizza now in his arms. He placed the box on the coffee table, next to both of their drinks.

The blond tilted his head in thought, wanted to give the man an answer, "C-can we watch this one?" He said while pulling the case from the shelve. Ashton raised his eyebrows in amusement at Luke's choice.

"You want to watch the little mermaid?" Ashton asked, he almost wanted to laugh, but looking at Luke's wide innocent eyes made it almost impossible to do so. 

"Unless you don't, w-we can watch something el-"

"No, it's alright Lukey, if you want to watch the Little Mermaid, then we'll watch it," Ashton stated. 

Luke could tell that Ashton was being genuinely sincere about that, which he was. Ashton was somewhat hoping the boy wold pick a horror movie, just he could hold him at the scary parts, Luke would also like that, but it wouldn't be worth the nightmares he would end up having for a week. But Disney movies would be okay, Ashton loved that Luke wanted to watch it.

"So, what were you saying?" Ashton spoke.

The boy swallowed hard, "Uh, I- I don't really remember, I guess I'll have to tell you about it a different time."

Ashton wanted to press the question, he was eager to learn more, but he could tell that Luke didn't want to talk about it anymore. So, he placed the movie into the into the dvd player and held his hand  to Luke, while pulling him towards the couch.

\---

"Oh my god," Luke mumbled as they were about half way through the film. The two had been talking, and not really watching the movie. Luke had found out a lot about the older boy, like his favorite color, his favorite place to be and so many other things. Luke was extremely content with the way things were at the moment. He found it hard to believe that he was once anxious about this entire situation.

"Hm?" Ashton asked the sixteen year who had his hand covering his mouth, letting out small fragments of giggles.

"If you dye your hair white, and grow it out some more...you could look like King Triton," Luke spoke, a smirk on his lips as he watched Ashton face palm before letting out a loud laugh.

"Just let me turn into a mermaid first, alright?" When he spoke those words, Luke giggled like it was the funniest thing he had ever heard.

"Oh, I've got a question for you," Ashton said, "You want to do something with me tomorrow? I am quite a cliche person and I planned on stargazing tomorrow since it will be clear night for once, but I didn't want to go alone, you up for it?"

Luke bit his lip in thought he had no idea how he could get away with going stargazing. He could always say he was going to Calum's, again, but Luke's mom most likely would not buy that for the second night in a row. Sneaking out was out of the question, he could never get away with that.

"Uhm, I just have school tomorrow, and then the hospit- uhm.. I think I can go," Luke said, cringing as he realized he had mentioned the one thing he wanted to be kept secret.

"Why the hospital?" Ashton asked curiously.

Luke frowned, not exactly wanting to answer the question, but he knew if he didn't then Ashton would most likely nag him about it for the rest of night, and he most definitely did not want that to happen.

"It's just.. my brother, he uhm has cancer," Luke spoke sadly.

Jack was the only person in the family who would keep things sane. Once he is gone, Luke can't even begin to imagine the way things would be. When his parents fought, Jack always distracted Luke, or tired to resolve the arguing, he always made everything better. 

Pity flashed through Ashton's eyes, making Luke sigh, he absolutely hated that look. He had gotten it multiple times from plenty of people and it makes him want to throw up.

"Oh my god," Ashton mumbled, "I'm so sorry, I'm here for you, you know that right?" Ashton speaks sincerely. Luke wants to roll his eyes because everyone who had told him that before ended up leaving, but instead he just pouted, rolling his eyes would have been rude, and he didn't want to be rude.

Luke sighed, "It's fine, really, he's...managing," Luke spoke while rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, trying not cry in front of Ashton. 

The blond boy's phone went of in his pocket, making him sigh and fish it out. 

"Hello?" He said while answering. 

"Oh, uhm, I'm still at Calum's," He lied. 

"N-no don't have him come get me, I already have a ride home," Luke spoke. 

"I know, you never told me to clean the house? What are you talking about?".... "I mean that seems a little unfair."

Luke set the phone down, his mom had hung up on him. 

"You okay Luke?" Ashton said while comfortingly rubbing Luke's back. 

"I- uh, c-can you please take me home? My mom is in a mood and she wants me home" Luke spoke with tears gathering in his eyes. 

He wasn't exactly sure why he felt like crying, it was the build up of everything really. His brother, his parents, just everything. Luke wanted so badly to tell Ashton about his deepest secrets, he was longing for attention, for comfort, but he just couldn't do it. The boy had no idea how to reach out for help. 

"Yeah, I'll take you home, don't forget your penguin," Ashton spoke while gently rubbing Luke's back, then his shoulders. The blond smiled, then nodded. 

Ashton could definitely tell something wasn't right with Luke. He didn't want to upset the boy further though, and if he wasn't willingly going to talk, Ashton wasn't going to pressure him further. It was starting to get dark outside, which made Luke sleepy, but he didn't want to go home and sleep. He wished he could stay at Ashton house, Luke imagined his bed. Luke could see it, he thought that he would most likely have a white fluffy duvet covering a queen sized bed. Luke imagined that Ashton would wrap his arms around Luke while he slept, making it easy to fall asleep, and he would be right there when he woke up.

But he had to go home.

-

The second Luke walked into the house, he was greeted with silence, his parents were fast asleep, not bothering to wait up for Luke. The boy tiptoed through the house, pulled off his clothes and he fell into the bed, cuddling his one and only stuffed animal. Tears were gathering in his eyes, but before they could fall, his phone started vibrating next to him.

Luke swallowed hard before answering, "Hello," He spoke.

"Hey," Ashton said softly, "I'm just calling to make sure you're alright, you seemed upset when I dropped you off." 

Luke could hear the worry in Ashton's voice, he wished so badly that he was there with him, he would confess it all, "Uh, I mean, just didn't want to go home honestly," Luke admitted, "I just can never sleep well, and I know its dumb, but my parents didn't bother to wait up for me and I just feel overwhelmed." Luke felt ashamed telling Ashton that, but also relieved.

"Hey, listen to me Luke, I care about you, and I don't want you to get upset because of them, you hear me?" Ashton spoke.

Luke nodded, then opened his mouth to speak when he remembered that Ashton couldn't see him, "Okay."

"I don't want you to fall asleep feeling upset, so just listen to me, its just a bad night, its going to be okay," He spoke, "Now, baby, I know you're tired, and I know you need some rest, so try and get some sleep, alright? Hopefully I will see you tomorrow, and we can talk more about this, but right now, you need to go to sleep, understand?"

Butterflies formed in Luke's stomach, having Ashton text that to him was one thing, but hearing him say was completely different. Luke immediately felt obligated to sleep, he felt a need to do anything Ashton asked him to do, and it was a strange feeling. Something that was new, but he also loved it.

"Okay, I will, thank you," was all Luke could get out, but Ashton understood the sincerity behind them, and smiled contently. 

"Goodnight Lukey Boy, sweet dreams."

"Goodnight Ash." Luke spoke as he hung up. 

The blond repeated those words in his mind, and fell asleep faster than he ever has in his entire life. And for once, he did not have a nightmare at all that night.


	9. Chapter 9

Luke sat at the end of Jack's bed, waiting for the moment he would open his eyes. Jack was so pale that his skin almost looked translucent, like you could see each artery and vessel blossoming beneath the surface. The veins in the older man's arms were so prominent that they resembled street maps, going in millions of different directions. There were multiple IVs placed in the man's arm, making Luke frown while slightly tracing his fingers up the clear tubes.

"What are you doing?" Jack grumbled as the younger boy had awaken him from his slumber. Jack rubbed at his eyes, trying to process the bright room.

"H-how are you?" Luke asked timidly and almost inaudible, scared Jack was still sensitive from just waking up.

"Dying of cancer, like always," Jack spoke harshly, but quickly frowned as he saw Luke's sad expression, "Sorry Luke, I'm just tired of all of this," He finished.

Luke scratched at the back of his neck, bowing his head slightly so his brother couldn't see into his eyes , before lightly mumbling, "Being negative isn't going to help anything," He spoke quietly.

"And being positive is going to cure me? Man, if I would've known that I would have been screaming "I love cancer" down these hospital halls months ago," Jack said sarcastically.

Luke pouted, he hated how negative his brother was about his illness. No, being positive wasn't going to cure him, but he only had a a few months left to live, he didn't need a doctor to tell him that one. And Luke knew most certainly that if he was dying, he would make the most out of his last few months instead of being a constant ray of negativity. He somewhat understood why Jack was acting the way he was, but he still hated it.

Once Jack realized Luke wasn't going to say anything, he spoke up, "Mom said you went to Calum's house? Didn't know you and him were still friends?" Jack said, but it came out more like a question.

Luke tried his hardest to conceal his smile, because he didn't want any of his family to find out about his little secret, things got around quick and he wasn't prepared for everyone's reaction. He knew for a fact that his parents would be far from supportive, there was no doubt on that. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop a wide grin from spreading across his face. Jack raised eyebrows in amusement and curiosity.

"Are you dating him?" Jack asked loudly, making Luke cringe.

"God, could you keep it down, and no, not him," Luke spoke while glancing at the door, making sure no one had silently joined in on their conversation.

His plans to keep quiet about it have gone to waste, he had to tell someone. Jack most likely wouldn't tell anyone, he didn't hate Luke that much. Luke knew most definitely that Jack had some common sense and would know not to tell anyone in the family. Jack would probably keep it from his family after dropping small hints just to annoy them even more. That was something Jack liked to do, it is hard to keep yourself entertained when you are dying in a hospital.

"Wow, wait a minute," Jack said while covering his face a he let out a loud laugh, "Did you lie to Mom about going to Calum's?" Jack asked Luke, but didn't have to wait for his response because his face said it all, "Oh my god, where the hell did you go? Dude, spill everything," Jack said while sitting up on his elbows, giving his full attention.

Luke's entire family had known he was gay since he had announced it at Christmas dinner two years back. It wasn't a forgettable moment, seeing that the boy had burst into tears as he realized that he wasn't one bit attracted to girls and he thought he was going to hell. His grandparents, father, and a few of his cousins had just left the room in disgust, which just made things worse for Luke. But his Mother and a few other relatives were there to comfort him with his confession.

"I met this guy named Ashton at the store and like I lost my money so he bought me a stuffed penguin and then I-" Luke spoke in a fast breathing tone, which he was interrupted by his father walking in.

"We're leaving now Luke," Andy spoke bitterly making Luke raise his eyebrows in concern.

They usually stayed longer, way longer. Liz was always talking to all the nurses trying to figure out how much longer her son had left. Andy would usually stay in the waiting room, he claimed they had the best coffee, which was the only reason he even came to the hospital anymore. Sometimes even Ben would show up and they would all play card games. Luke could tell something was wrong, so could Jack.

"B-but we've only been here for-"

"Listen, I'm not in the mood to argue, you either leave with me right now, or walk your ass home," Andy said, making Luke flinch at his tone.

The blond stood up from the chair sitting next to the bed and followed the man out of the room, looking back at Jack, who mouthed 'later' to him. Luke didn't want to leave with his father, he could sense that something was wrong for multiple reasons. One of the being, Liz wasn't with them, Liz was always with them when they left, and when they did leave, it was always way later than what it was then. He shook off the feeling silently walked out to their car.

"When we get home, go to your room, I don't want to see you," He spoke harshly, making Luke fight back tears.

Luke didn't know why it bothered him so much how he was talked to, he knew that he shouldn't let it get to him, but he just couldn't help it. Luke also didn't know why his father was acting like this, but it wasn't something that he was unfamiliar with. Some days his father would do this, he would lock Luke in his room and all Luke could hear was arguing. A part of Luke thought that maybe in some way his father was protecting him. All of those thoughts went down the drain when he saw the flask slightly sticking out of the man's coat pocket.

\--------

"You hate all of us!"

Luke heard his mother shout. He had been home for three hours, sitting in the same place, scared that if he moved he would make a loud noise, and then his parents would remember he was just down the hall, he didn't want that. He wanted to be completely unknown and silent. Nothing would probably happen if he were to make a noise though, his parents were way to preoccupied and self-centered to think twice about Luke, which Luke was completely fine with.

He had his duvet wrapped tightly around his body, his stuffed penguin clutched into his hand. The phone sitting next to him kept vibrating, all texts from Ashton. He wanted to reply and tell him the situation, maybe Ashton would come to his rescue and save him from this hell. Luke shook his head, that wasn't Ashton's job.

There was no way he'd be able to go on a date with the man, unless he climbed out his window but knowing how clumsy he is he would most likely fall and somehow break his legs- even though he was on the first floor. He didn't want to put his parents even more in debt. Eventually, the constant calling got annoying, so Luke decided to just answer his phone.

"H-hello," He said into the phone, he bit his lip, praying Ashton couldn't hear the war that was taking place in the other room.

"What the hell Luke, I've been trying to get a hold of you for the longest time- are you alright?" Ashton asked concernedly, making Luke sigh in defeat.

"F-fine-uhm-"

The boy was cut off by a loud shout that came from down the hall, from his mother. He gasped, worried that she was hurt. Luke shook, staying still, his father told him to stay in his room. "Don't!" Liz yelled loudly from the living room. Luke's eyes's eyes widened in fear. He had no idea what was going on, he didn't know if he wanted to know.

"Luke? What was that? Is something going on? Do you want me to come get you?" Ashton asked just as Luke dropped his phone and ran out of his room.

The sight in front of him almost made him want to throw up. His father had his hand raised, and his mother was cowered into the corner. The second Andy heard the footsteps, he turned around sharply, looking at Luke with a terrifying expression that made him want to go hide away forever. Luke's voice got caught at the back of his throat as he looked into his father's eyes, they were blood shot and Luke felt as if he would see the booze swimming in them.

"I thought I told you to stay in your room," He spoke with gritted teeth while walking towards Luke, who was now backed up into the wall, unsure of what to do.

Liz stayed still, her eyes wide in shock. She was petrified of what the man would do to her son. A part of her wanted to run over there and fight the man herself, but she knew that would just make things so much worse. The women wanted to get up and protect her son, but it seemed her body and her mind wanted two different things. She felt as if she was frozen in time, being forced to watch the scene.

"Can't seem to listen, can you? You screw up?" With that said, Andy raised his fist and collided it with the pale skin.

Luke and Liz both let out a loud gasp. Andy has never hit his children before. Luke knew he had to potential to, his arms were as hard as rocks. Tears formed into Luke's eyes. He felt sick to his stomach, he thought maybe his father would at least react differently to what he had done. Maybe he would start apologizing, but instead he just grabbed his jacket and stormed out of the house.

"Luke!" Liz said while rushing over to her son. Luke slide down the wall, emotionless, while clutching his eye that was soon to be black and blue. She carefully pulled the boy into a hug, letting him spill his tears all over her shirt as she comfortingly rubbed his back. His eye stung and tingled, but he just kept crying. His eye didn't even come close in compassion to how much he hurt inside. Liz led Luke to his room, still having her arm placed tightly around the boy.

"Come on, let's just forget about what happened," Liz spoke while placing him into his bed.

"Just go to bed, he didn't mean any of that and you know it, okay?" Liz said while placing a small kiss to Luke's forehead.

"H-he's gonna do it again momm-" Luke got cut off by his mother covering his mouth gently, with her pointer finger.

"It's not going to happen again, we'll be okay, now take a nap," Liz said while standing up and walking out of the room, as if her son wasn't hurting at all.

He couldn't forget about it, he wanted to, but he couldn't.

Luke rolled over onto his side and let out a loud hear wrenching sob. He wanted comfort so bad, and he hardly ever got it. Even when his father had hit him, his mother still just left him after a hug. Luke wanted to get out of his house, the thought of ever having to see his father again made him cry even harder. He hated that man with a passion, he wishes he could just erase him from their life. Things would be a whole lot easier, or that's what Luke thought.

Ashton's jaw hung open as he heard the muffled conversation through the phone, and Luke's tears sobs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting intense, there will be a lot of Lashton soon, just be patient with me plz (and plz comment)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YALL IM UPDATING TOMORROW ALSO DONT THINK THIS SHORT ASS SHIT IS ALL YOURE GETTING

"Mummy," Luke whined against his pillow as Liz shook him awake.

It had been two days since Luke's father had hit him, and Liz had been acting a lot nicer. It had also been two days Luke had went to school, or left the house, or just communicated with anyone in general. His phone remained the same place on the floor, only now it was dead, and Ashton had thought Luke was as well.

Ashton knew where Luke lived, so he could always just drop by to see if he was okay, but that didn't seem like a smart idea. Ashton didn't want to invade, Luke didn't know Ashton had heard the conversation between him and his mother, and Ashton was fully aware of that. Besides, he was just hoping Luke was okay.

"C-can I stay home again?" Luke asked hopefully, it was Friday now, so there was really no point in him going.

Liz pushed Luke's hair out of his face that was covering his still bruised eye. She held her breath, then let out a sigh, "One more day Luke, and if Dad comes home when I'm at work just- climb out the window- no- just leave somehow if he comes back, or call me, okay?" Liz said, making Luke frown.

He didn't like the idea of climbing out the window, he didn't want to be scared of his father. A part of him wishes he was bigger and stronger, so he could protect his mother and not have to worry, but that wasn't realistic. Luke just nodded, if his father were to come home he would most likely just hide under his bed in fear.

"And take a shower honey, your hair is getting nasty," Liz said with a laugh, in which Luke copied, "Goodbye."

Luke waited until he had heard her car start and drive off before he pulled himself out of bed. As much as he'd like to just lay in bed all day, his mom was right, he needed to shower.

The blond rubbed his eyes tiredly, but winced when his fingers came in contact with the slightly faded bruise. He shook his head, trying hard not to think about what had happened. Luke exhaled before grabbing some clothes, his phone and charger an heading towards the bathroom.

Luke had forgotten that he was on the phone with Ashton, he had just assumed that his phone was on the ground because he was clumsy and dropped it. If he had known that Ashton heard everything, he would have called him back instantly and made up some bullshit lie about how all the yelling was the tv- or something even more bizarre. He didn't want Ashton to know about his family issues.

It was already bad enough that Ashton knew about Jack's cancer; that was confidential information that Luke hated telling people about. And if he would have thought about his words before he said them, Ashton would still not know about it. But surprisingly, Luke just shrugged it off. Ashton didn't seem to make a big deal about the fact that his brother had cancer.

The blond stood waiting for his phone to turn on after he had plugged it in, he wanted to listen to music in the shower. A large shadow cast over the hallway wall making Luke jump and cower.

"Luke?" The voice called out, making the blond sigh in relief, "The door was unlocked so I just let myself in, are yo alright?" Ashton said.

Luke swallowed hard, feeling quite insecure, he walked out from the door he was behind. He almost wanted to scream at Ashton for just letting himself in like that, but he couldn't because before he could even say anything the man was already concernedly walking towards Luke with wide eyes- more than likely focusing on the bruise that still wasn't faded.

"Is this what he did to you?" Ashton asked while gently placing his hands on the boy's jawline, as if he were trying to inspect the injury better.

"Huh?" Luke said while pushing his hands away, "H-how do you know about that?" He asked while backing away with panic rushing through his body.

"Luke, you left the phone on the line, I heard everything between your mom and you," Ashton said while inching towards him, "Are you alright? Did you guys call the pol-"

"No! H- he's a good guy, he just got..." Luke said while playing with his fingers, unsure if it was a logical idea to tell Ashton his father was drunk.

He loved his father, but I mean, it was kind of the same way you love all family members, because everyone around you makes it seem like you have to. Luke's father was like an illness that never went away. The blond wanted so badly to be accepted by him, but it seemed almost impossible. Every chance he got, Luke's father would find a way to put his son down, and Luke hated it.

"Was he drunk?" Ashton asked while gently rubbing Luke's arm.

The younger boy drew in a deep breath, the memory swimming through his mind, making tears form in his eyes, "H-he doesn't drink that much n-not here at least," Luke spoke timidly while moving his greasy hair out from his eyes- he was definitely in need a hair cut.

Ashton didn't care about Luke's appearance at the moment, he didn't care that he looked like he was doing a campaign for drugs, or that his hair looked like mix of so many different distortions, or that his eye was puffy and resembled a summer sunset. All Ashton cared about was that Luke was okay on the inside; not the outside.

"Is that the first time he hit you?" Ashton asked delicately.

It was obvious to Ashton that Luke didn't have the best family, but did anyone really have a good family? Even a family that other would describe as the perfect family has there flaws, whether it be an affair that happened years ago, or the fights that arise behind closed doors, no one ever knows about those.

Ashton didn't know much, but he knew enough. From day one, Ashton could tell that Luke came from a broken home. It was clear when he called him after he dropped him off that Luke's family was a huge mess. Ashton wished he could take Luke, he wished he could remove him from the toxic home and make him feel loved and safe.

Luke quickly nodded at that, it was the first, and the boy was convinced it would be the last. Andy drank when he was out, only this time, something must have happened, causing him to do so around his family. Perhaps his father did need help, and Luke wanted to tell him that so badly, but he knew that would only create more conflict.

"He wont do it again," Luke spoke as if he was certain of it, "Besides, it's my own fault I got hit, I basically asked for it," The blond frowned.

Feeling quite exhausted, and filthy, Luke just wanted Ashton to go away. Yes, the boy was craving some type of comfort, but at the moment, he just wanted to take a shower and get clean first. The boy felt insecure standing in front of Ashton who was well groomed and resembled a model.

"Why would you even begin to think it was your fault? You need to call the po-"

"I'm not calling the police, you're making a big deal out of nothing" Luke tried to sound forceful, but his statement came out more as a whine than anything, "He told me stay in my room, and I didn't, it's my own fault."

Ashton shook his head while grabbing a hold of Luke's shoulders, looking him in the eyes and making him cower down, "Luke, I know from experience that it's going to worse before it gets better, but you cannot let that happen, please, just do something about this, or I will," Ashton said sincerely.

Luke furrowed his eyebrows together, wanting to question Ashton on how he knows all of this, but he decides against it. He truly believes his father will never hit him again, and a part of him tries to convince himself that since he was drunk, it doesn't matter much because his sober father would never do something like that. The weary boy shakes his head, wanting nothing more but for Ashton to just drop the subject.

"Fine," He said while crossing his arms over his chest, "M-my mom might be home soon, you should really leave before she gets here," Luke lied.

It wasn't that he didn't enjoy Ashton's company, he was just longing for some time alone so he could figure what he wanted to do with this entire situation. Even though he knew that telling the police would most likely be the best option, he just wanted to put this behind him and forget about it, all of it.

Ashton exhaled before nodded, "Just please call me later okay? And take care of yourself," Ashton spoke.

Luke smiled at him as he slowly started walking away his eye still on Luke, waiting for an answer, "I will, I promise."

With that said, Ashton walked down the hall and out of the house. Luke waited until he heard the front door shut before he closed the bathroom door and turned the shower on. The light on his phone caught his attention, signalling that it had finally turned back on after being dead for a few days. A sigh fell from his lips as he read through everything Ashton had sent him.

Ashton: I adore you to much for you to get hurt

The text was sent two minutes ago.


	11. Chapter 11

"He thinks he's five, what the hell did you expect me to do?" The man yelled viciously.

"I think you've gave him enough insecurities to live with these past few years," Liz shouted back with a scowl on her face, "If you ever hit him again I wont even hesitate to call the police on your ass."

"Maybe next time I'll hit you instead," He spoke, his tall figure cowering over his wife. Liz cringed as his breath hit her nose, he reeked of cigarettes and vodka.

He also smelled like hours of working over time and late night gas station runs. He was definitely not someone that you would want to be around longer than you had to. Liz found herself backing away from the man; not only because he had a foul odor, but also because she was terrified of what he might do to her.

Luke sat on the floor of his bedroom, his back pushing up against his door, as well as his ear, trying to hear the conversation between his parents in the room over. There were tear tracks on his cheeks, he hated it when his parents fought, especially when it was about him. The boy often found himself wondering what would happen if his parents did get divorced. A part of Luke wished they would get divorced sometimes, it would most likely stop a large percentage of the complications in his life.

The other part of him was certain it would just create more conflict, and he wasn't ready to come to full a understanding that his parents did not love each other anymore. If they separate, Luke was certain he would go with his mother, wherever she would go, and he would never see his father again, which might not be so bad. Honestly, Luke didn't want to be with either of them.

Luke found himself worrying about his future, he was scared that the person he fell in love with would eventually stop loving him back. For example, when Luke loves something simple, like a food, he will eat that consistently, and eventually, he will grow tired of it. It terrified Luke that something you once loved could soon be your least favorite thing.

-

It was late at night, and Luke's parents most definitely thought their son was sleeping. His room was almost completely dark, except for the small night light that had Disney princesses on it, which Luke absolutely loved. The blond carefully slipped out of his room, holding as his breath until he heard a snore come from his parents room, first his mother's, then his father's. 

When Luke was tired he often didn't think about his actions, his mother had even tried to get him meds for these compulsive thoughts, but the doctor just laughed and said that's how everyone is. Luke didn't quite understated that, if it was such a normal thing then why did everyone always get so angry at him for the actions he does in times like this?

If he were thinking straight, this entire idea would have seemed like the stupidest thing ever, but that is the thing, Luke wasn't thinking straight. The boy slowly opened up the cabinet, he can vividly remember his mother always telling him that the cabinet wasn't for little boys, somehow those thoughts slipped away as his finger danced over the surface of the bottle of whiskey.

Luke has never had a way to deal with his problems, nothing out of the normal, what he did wasn't dealing with them, it was the problem. While people turned to coping mechanisms like drugs and harming themselves, Luke usually just slept his problems away. Now, Luke was curious about all of this. Did any of it actually help?

Opening the cap and tilting his head back, Luke downed the liquid. It burned going down, and he almost thought it wouldn't even stay down. Surprisingly, it did.

\-------

"Hello?" Ashton said groggily into the phone. He had been sound asleep when he got the call, and he hadn't even looked to see who was calling.

"Ashy," Luke slurred while sitting down on a curb in the middle of nowhere. The bottle of whiskey still remained in his hand, "I- Are you home- I went to McDonald's and th-" Luke was interrupted hiccuping, "They told me that you weren't there, and then they told they were going to call the cops if I didn't leave," Luke spoke while standing up.

"God-" Ashton said, now fully awake, "Are you drunk?" 

"Am I!" Luke yelled loudly, "Sorry- I-"

"Okay, where the hell are you, I'm coming to pick you up," Ashton spoke while getting out of bed and slipping his shoes on.

"McDonald's, down that one road by it- and uh, there's a thrift shop, but they are closed, that's a shame," Luke said with his voice trailing out into a whisper.

"Stay there- don't you dare move," Ashton said while getting into his car.

He knew exactly where Luke was, and he didn't care about the speed limit as he got onto the road. All he wanted was to make sure Luke was safe with him.

"Okay Daddy," The blond said, making Ashton almost drop his phone.

"What did you say?" But it was too late, the sixteen year old had already hung up.

\----

"God Luke," Ashton said. Luke was laying on the park bench, taking a sip of the whiskey when Ashton had finally spotted him, "Come on, it's freezing out here," Ashton spoke while taking the bottle from Luke and tossing it into a nearby bin, shaking his head as Luke attempted to retrieve it, "No, Luke." He spoke sternly, making Luke blush.

The hazel eyed boy looked down at Luke and frowned, his lips were trembling and they looked almost blue. Without hesitating, Ashton slipped off his rugged leather jacket and helped Luke into it.

"I- I went to mcdo- but you- they said you weren't there- and-" Ashton silenced Luke by guiding him towards the car.

"P-please don't take me home, I don't want to be there," Luke spoke as he climbed into the passenger side.

The thought of going home now didn't seem all that bad, it was just the fact that by the time Luke sobers up, he will be so guilt ridden and will end up telling his mom about how he drank. Also, Luke just wanted to be with Ashton, it was obvious that the man was concerned about the boy and had no intentions of leaving him alone- drunk or sober.

"We're going to go to my place, alright," Ashton said while getting into the drivers side of the car, "Then you can sleep this o-"

"No!" Luke interrupted.

Ashton raised an eyebrow, he was certain Luke was exhausted, and probably felt sick as well, whiskey was never a good choice of drink, not when you're as lightweight as Luke at least. Ashton felt a plentiful amount of sympathy as he thought about how hungover the boy was going to be the next morning.

"No?" 

"I want cuddles," Luke slurred while rubbing his eyes, "And you."

Ashton bit his lip to refrain from smiling because the boy next to him was so innocent, even intoxicated. He knew that Luke wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, or at least not all of it.

Luke lightly smiled while fiddling with his finger, a small laugh manged to slip through his lips, making Ashton shake his head, also smiling. The hazel eyed boy chuckled, wondering exactly what the drunken one was thinking at the moment.

Ashton placed a hand firmly on Luke's thigh, trying to draw his attention, "I am never sleeping again," Luke slurred, making Ashton laugh.

"Really now?" 

"Mhm," Luke hummed, which sounded extremely convincing until his eyelids started to droop.

Ashton rolled his eyes as a laugh fell from his lips, "Do you have a dummy?" Luke asked suddenly, making Ashton's eyes widen because why the hell does a sixteen year old want a dummy. Ashton was almost tempted to reply with something lame like "there's one sitting right next to me", but as he glanced over Luke had already moved on from the question and had his thumb placed in his mouth.

It was obvious that Luke was not in his correct mind set, and unfortunately, Ashton had no idea about any of it. Ashton wasn't an idiot though, he knew something was different about Luke. He thought maybe the boy had strict parents so he was more secluded and didn't know very much about anything. Or maybe Luke just wanted the extra attention, which was true but that was only half of what Luke wanted.

"Is this the first time you've got drunk?" Ashton asked Luke, tearing him from his thoughts.

Luke removed the finger from his mouth subconsciously started to bite on his nails, which Ashton had to try his hardest not to tell him that it was unsanitary "Yes," He spoke lightly, "Mummy always told me that drinking is bad." 

The blond was insanely intoxicated, his glazed eyes gave that away. Luckily for Ashton, Luke wasn't a crazy drunk, in fact drunk Luke wasn't much different from sober Luke. Ashton didn't know how much more this boy was going to say tonight though.

"Well, she's right," Ashton's spoke, his hands moved down the steering wheel as he turned, "You're only sixteen, you shouldn't be drinking." 

Luke nodded, the blond didn't ever want to drink again, it made his mind all fuzzy and he hated it. He also hated that he didn't even have a filter for anything, the second a thought went to his head he just spoke it, it seemed. With a pout, the boy tilted his head, as if he were in deep thought.

"Are you going to punish me for drinking?" Luke asked innocently.

Ashton thought he was about to swerve off the road as Luke spoke those words, he almost did.

"Punish you?" The thoughts that went through Ashton's head were definitely not pure, or legal.

"Because I was bad," Luke said, "I need a spanking." 

Ashton's eyes widened. This was not good. The older man made a mental note to make sure Luke doesn't drink again, "You just need to not ever do this again, understand?"

Sober Luke would be a blushy mess, and he probably would be in tears because Ashton was even the smallest bit disappointed in him. But drunk Luke looked at all of this as a game.

"Yes Daddy," Luke spoke with a giggle.

Luke leaned his head against the window, still giggling, making Ashton frown, "I'm serious, Luke."

"What about drugs?" He asked seriously, making Ashton raise his eyebrows.

"What about them?" Ashton spoke.

Luke sat up, giving his full attention towards Ashton as he started to speak, "I won't drink again, but I could do drugs to make up for it."

"Or you can graduate high school and be happy- no drugs or alcohol involved."

With a huff, Luke crossed his arms over his chest sassily, "I can be happy and do drugs, I can do anything and be happy."

"I'll put it this way," Ashton started, "If you ever do drugs, or anything else that is harmful to yourself, or drink again, I can promise you that you will get punished." Ashton spoke seriously.

Luke heard him, but it seemed that the words still went over his head, "Maybe I want to be punished."

Ashton raised his eyebrows, "Well, keep acting like this, and by the end of the week, that might happen."

If Luke were sober this entire conversation wouldn't have even happened. Luke would probably hide at the discussion of a punishment, and he certainly wouldn't have be sexual about it. That was what made Ashton laugh, seeing how straightforward Luke was when he is intoxicated.

The car went to a complete stop as Ashton parked in front of his house, making Luke quickly get out, Ashton right behind him.

"Why the rush?" Ashton spoke while groggily digging his keys out of his pocket. Luke had called when he was in a deep sleep, and he still wasn't fully awake. But he knew he had to be there for Luke, he couldn't let the kid be out on the streets alone. 

"I want cuddles, I told you that," Luke said while hoping from one foot to the next, impatiently.

The older one just rolled his eyes and chuckled as he fumbled for his keys that were placed in his pocket, trying to hurry because it was obvious Luke didn't want to wait any longer, "Drop the attitude," He mumbled, while quickly unlocking the door, letting Luke in first.

Ashton closed the door behind him before wearily rubbing his eyes, he was definitely going to have one hell of a day tomorrow, he was lucky that he wouldn't be working. He wanted to sleep, obviously, but Luke was drunk and clingy.

\----

It was now two in the morning, Luke was laying on Ashton's stomach. The older one gently trailing his fingers up and down the blondes back, trying to ease him into sleeping. Luke's fists that were once tightly clasped on Ashton's shirt have now relaxed, making Ashton believe he was sound asleep. 

"Ashy," Luke whined against Ashton's chest, making the hazel eyes widen, he didn't know Luke was awake.

"Hm?" 

Luke lifted his head, so he was looking directly into Ashton's eyes. The blue hue was now grey, which Ashton had thought it was just because he was tired. That thought drifted away as a tear pooled down his cheek.

"Hey what's wrong?" Ashton spoke while sitting up and positioning the boy so he was curled up in his lap.

"Hurts," Luke mumbled, his tears soaking Ashton's shirt.

"What hurts?" He asked while rubbing the boy's back. 

Luke was only lightly crying, and Ashton thought maybe he just had a headache and because he was so exhausted he was extra sensitive. That wasn't the case though. 

"You're gonna hate me if- if I tell you," Luke spoke, his crying increasing as he finished the sentence. 

Ashton was dumbfounded, he didn't think it was possibly to hate someone like Luke. Luke was adorable, his blue eyes resembled an ocean, which made Ashton intrigued. Everything about Luke made Ashton intrigued, he loved how the boy was shorter than him. He loved how his hair covered over his eyes at some points. 

Maybe Ashton had taken a small liking towards the younger one, which he knew wasn't exactly okay. It was obvious that Luke knew he shouldn't even be talking to a twenty year old, but was four years even that big of a deal? 

Luke wasn't completely clueless though, he knew that most older guys would use him for his vulnerability, and then leave him. At first he thought that's what Ashton's main goal was, but even when he was drunk the older one never even tried to take advantage of him. 

"Calm down, then you can tell me what's wrong," Ashton spoke, "I promise I won't hate you." 

"Pinky promise?" 

Ashton laughed adoringly before latching his pinky onto Luke's, "Pinky promise." 

Luke took a few breaths, as if what he was going to say would change everything forever, which in some aspects, it would.

"I've always wanted...someone to be here for me..to take care of me," Luke said. 

Ashton stayed silent, Luke was still trying to mold his words together so Ashton wouldn't he weirded out, or get the wrong idea. 

"I've always always wanted a daddy Ashton, a real daddy, not the one I have at home," Ashton's eyes should of widened to the size of quarters, but he wasn't surprised, "I want you."

Ashton knew Luke meant nothing sexual of this. It at made sense, this is why Luke always acted younger, Ashton didn't know the full history of it, but he knows more now.

"I know Luke, I know"

"I need someone so bad and I can't wait until we know each other more," Luke spoke with his voice cracking "I'm not gonna make it that long."

Ashton placed a kiss against Luke's forehead while comfortingly rocking him back and forth. 

"I have nobody, everyone just thinks I'm a joke and I can't stand it anymore, please don't hate me," Luke mumbled. 

Ashton knew he wanted to help the boy out- but Luke was drunk. He knew Luke wouldn't remember any of this in the morning, which made Ashton feel upset, "I'm here, listen to me, I'm here."

He was going to do whatever it took to make Luke happy, and if this was it, then he was willing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me, what type of things would you guys like to see happen in this story? x


	12. Chapter 12

Luke kicked his legs, closing his eyes as the wind pushed his hair over his face. The sound of faint young laughter filled his ears, making a smile take up a large remainder of his face. He loved going to the park, it was something that made him feel as if he was still a child- and that feeling made him blissful.

A small push on his back made him gasp. He had come alone to the park, his parents stopped going with him once he turned eleven because apparently he was to old to still be going, which Luke thought to be complete bullshit, there isn't an age limit for enjoying yourself. Quite frankly, no mater what Luke did his parents would judge him. If he stays home and in his comfort zone, he is lazy and needs to get out more. When he actually does go out- which is never more than a for walk or to be with Ashton, but they didn't know about the last part- they tell him needs to be home with his family more.

The boy didn't understand that, he didn't even think there was that much of a family. Family was supposed to be there for you, Luke had realized at this point all they were doing is pushing each individual away

Luke turned his head around to see who the hell was pushing him, "Wha- Ashton!" Luke immediately put his foot down in attempt to stop the swing. 

Ashton had hardly talked to Luke since the morning after the boy had confessed everything, even then it was just him dropping the younger one off at his house, barely any communication. Luke didn't remember anything that happened, which didn't surprise Ashton, he was extremely drunk. Meanwhile, Ashton was freaking out trying to figure out what to do with the information. Not so much what to do, it was how to do it. Ashton knew what he needed and wanted to do, but he didn't want to embarrass Luke by bringing it up, but he knew that he needed to do it. The two had texted that morning, but it was nothing more than small talk, seeing that Ashton didn't want to overwhelm Luke or anything.

He couldn't look at Luke the same after that night, he knew Luke's darkest secret, and Luke wasn't even aware of it. Ashton knew he wanted to help the boy, he just didn't know where to start.

"What are you doing here?" Luke spoke while starting to get up.

Ashton smiled down at the shorter boy, "Sit down, I'm gonna push you," Ashton spoke, making Luke blush but do as he was told.

Luke always had this feeling he couldn't distinguish when he was around Ashton, it was like a constant frenzy of butterflies at war in his stomach. Everything the older boy said or did made Luke blush and feel giddy all over. Ashton didn't even have to try, which made Luke feel almost jealous seeing that he had to think out and rehearse his words as if they were lines from a terrible play.

The twenty year old lighting grabbed onto the chains and started to push Luke, "You told me you were going to the park, so I thought I'd stop by," Ashton admitted.

A small smile tugged at the corners of Luke's mouth knowing that even though he was a bit weird, Ashton still for some reason wanted to talk to him. It made him feel like for once in his life he wasn't unwanted. Most guys would find the fact that he was childish to be odd and a major turnoff, but it intrigued Ashton.

Before Luke could reply, Ashton already did, "How'd you recover from that hangover?" 

Luke pouted, feeling ashamed of himself, "Badly, my mom thought I was sick and she got all mad at me telling me that I couldn't miss school." He spoke. Ashton just kept pushing him without talking, "Why are you doing this?" Luke asked quietly.

"You really don't remember? Do you Luke?" 

"Remember what?" Luke questioned, he was half tempted to look back at Ashton to search for the answer in his eyes, but instead he fiddled with his fingers instead.

Ashton stopped pushing Luke, which made the younger one frown. The hazel eyed boy patted Luke's back gently, which caught Luke by surprise making a squeal fall from his lips. A blush coated his cheeks, but Ashton didn't even seemed fazed.

"We need to talk about something, Lukey." Ashton spoke while sitting down on the swing next to Luke.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you guys know that I'll probably end up double updating, maybe I post the next chapter tomorrow.  
> Also, I started school so updated might be a little scattered and late at times, sorry about that, but hey, I wont give up on the book or anything. Let me know what you guys think so far?


	13. Chapter 13

What the hell did I do now?

Luke thought, his stomach turned, anxiously. Luke thought that maybe Ashton found out that he has a crush on the older man and he is going to tell Luke to fuck off. Or maybe he is like every other guy out there and he is going to ask the blond if he can fuck him. Both thoughts are equally unsettling. Luke glanced over at Ashton, he looked concerned, maybe this conversation wouldn't be bad?

"Do you remember anything from when you were drunk?" Ashton asked me, making Luke's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

Did he remember anything?

It was a blur, a really big blur. Almost like when you're at that state of half awake and half sleep, and everything is foggy. That's how being drunk felt. Luke thought back and could remember sipping the bottle, and letting the beer- or maybe it was vodka- spill down his throat.

It definitely wasn't vodka, the younger one thought harder, remembering being ten years old and accidentally having a sip of his mothers drink thinking it was water. He knew it couldn't have been vodka because on that day he had cried for hours because of how vile the taste was.

Luke could remember walking down the street and feeling invincible. He remembered getting into Ashton's car. He can remember crying in his arms. But why was he crying?

"W- what happened?" Luke asked, tears clouding his vision. Luke despised the idea of not knowing what happened, and it worried him that something he will grow to regret could have taken place.

"You told me some things," Ashton spoke lightly, "Some personal things."

At this point, Luke's hands were shaking rapidly, something that always happened when he got nervous or antsy. With a sigh, Ashton reached over and comfortingly grasped Luke's hand. With his other one, he rubbed circles into the smaller boy's back, wanting nothing more than for Luke to be calm as he delivered the secret.

"Luke, I support you, and I know you wouldn't have told me this if it wasn't true, even if you were drunk." Ashton spoke.

"Just please tell me what I told you," At this point Luke was frustrated with the one who kept dragging out the news, Luke just wanted to know what the hell happened before he lost his mind.

Ashton drew in a breath before squeezing Luke's hand tightly, "You told me about your desires Luke." Ashton closed his eyes before continuing.

"You think I'm a joke don't you?" Luke spoke, thinking that Ashton didn't accept him, jumping quickly into defensive mode "I-I- This isn't some weird kink for you to get off to, I can't control this because of-" Luke's breathing increased as he thought back to the day, the day that ruined his entire life, "I- I cant sleep without seeing them there, I cant do anything on my own, I cant even grow up because they ruined me." At this point Luke was sobbing, he ached so badly, "I need you Ashton."

Ashton stood up, making Luke shrink back down to reality, feeling small again. Luke buried his head into Ashton's chest. The older one looked around the park, feeling grateful that there was no one there, "I'm here for you, please believe that," Ashton spoke while lifting Luke up into his arms, "I don't think you're a joke," The blond was gripping tightly onto the back of Ashton's shirt, as if it were the only thing keeping him alive, "I want to help you Luke."

The older man wasn't surprised about how defensive Luke got, it was obvious that this wasn't something the boy just flaunted around and told everyone. In a way, Ashton was glad he got drunk when he did, because he couldn't see Luke confessing that while sober. This should have scared Ashton, but it didn't. It all made sense to him, every little bit of it. The way Luke talked, the way he acted, the way he cried, Ashton connected the dots together and it all made so much sense. Luke wasn't giving any bullshit, it was all trust.

The air grew silent as Luke tried to process those words. He lifted his head and looked Ashton directly in the eyes. More tears coated Luke's eyes as he realized he was being held for the first time in probably ten years, "You mean that?" Luke asked, his face folded into a look of hopeless despair. Luke was shocked, but he didn't want to get his hopes up, he expected Ashton to pull away and then laugh in his face tell him it was all a one big prank, but he didn't. 

"How about we go back to my place and we can talk about all of this, you need to tell me more so I can understand," Ashton took a breath, "Does that sound okay, baby boy?"

Luke whimpered at the name, but nodded, unsure if he would be able to trust his voice. Ashton rubbed the boys back, instructing him to rest his head on his shoulder as they walked to Ashton's car.

\--------

"Is the water warm enough?" Ashton asked cautiously to the boy leaning up against is chest.

Luke wanted a bath, but the boy didn't want to be the only one taking a bath. It was something that Ashton found absolutely adorable, and although he hadn't taken a bath in probably seven years, he couldn't say no the pouty sixteen year old. It was almost as if Luke could conquer anything with with his pout, it was something that Ashton loved.

"You wanna talk about it now?" Ashton asked while rubbing his hand down Luke's arm it attempt to calm the boy down before he even needed to. "What were talking about when you said they ruined you? Who ruined you?" Ashton knew the question would most likely upset Luke, but these were things he needed to know. He needed to fully understand Luke so he knew what he was dealing with.

It didn't matter that much to Ashton. No matter what happened in the past, Ashton knew he was going to stick with Luke and help the boy. Luke needed Ashton, or just anyone in general. It was almost like a necessity to him. He just wanted Luke to trust him, he wanted the boy to tell him everything, even if it isn't sweet.

Ashton had expected Luke to throw a fit and start crying, because it was obvious that what ever had happened had traumatized the boy for life. Ashton didn't even think he would talk about it, but surprisingly, with a deep breath, Luke started talking.

"W-when I was five my parents always fought a lot, over stupid things like money, or who was going to do the dishes," Luke spoke, letting out a small chuckle because those fights were like ant hills compared to the mountain sized fights they have nowadays, "And I had this aunt," At this point tears were welling up in Luke's eyes.

"She was the type of family member that was always wanting something from us, and she accomplished that by making my parents feel guilty and pity," Luke spoke, "She was really rich, but it was never enough for her because she didn't know how to use the money correctly, and she wasn't smart."

"She was in a bad place, not that it excuses anything."A tear fell from Luke's eyes and splashed into the bubbly water, "She had this boyfriend, well, not exactly boyfriend, he just wanted her money and if he didn't get it he would abuse her."

"I still don't know why she did it, but one night she took me with her, I think she wanted me as protection." Luke spoke, he bit his lip in order to stop a sob from escaping, "She told me that my parents knew I was gong with her, but they didn't."

He left out details, because it has taken him a decade to shake them away. A part of his childhood got ripped away from him, and he could never get it back.

"Her boyfriend started using me instead of her.. And she always told me that it was okay, or that sex is normal," Luke turned around and buried his head in Ashton's bare chest, "I w-wasn't stupid though, I knew it wasn't okay for all of that to be happening."

"I didn't know what to do, and eventually they both would use me like a toy, they kept me locked in their basement for two years without anyone knowing," Luke sobbed, "Yeah, they would feed me and bathe me and give me what I waned afterwards to trick me into thinking that it was all okay, but even then I knew it wasn't."

Ashton stood up from the water, lifting Luke with him, "I couldn't even do anything because no matter how loud I screamed, n-no one ever heard me." Luke kept crying.

"Shh Luke, we can talk about this later, once you've calmed down," Ashton compromised.

Ashton set the boy down as he grabbed a towel for both of them. Luke felt so many emotions bottle up inside him, it was almost as if every single thing of heartbreak that had happened in his entire life had hit him all at once, like a bomb.

Luke balled his fists up angrily as his knees buckled. He let out a heart wrenching sob as he stood there. Ashton turned around as he heard the cry and quickly wrapped the towel around the blond, and one around himself as well.

"Th- She never even apologized," Luke cried into the fluffy material. "When they found me, she- she didn't even care she just let them take her, and she had nothing to say to me." Ashton wished he never even asked about it, if he had knew that the experience was that traumatic he would have never brought it up

Another part of him was glad he did, because it seemed Luke had kept everything inside up until now and he needed nothing more than to just let it all out. Ashton hated the thought of Luke being so young and so hopeless, he felt anger towards the people that had done this to him. Luke had deal with the horrible memories for years, and Ashton was the first who asked him about it and actually cared enough to comfort him.

People had asked him about it, like the police when he was being questioned, but when he cried they just left his mother to deal with it. She never did, she just told him to calm down and "tell the nice men what happened in those two years" as if Luke was just another story for middle aged women to feel sympathy towards.

Those people were the reason Luke became mute for a good couple years of his life. He had no control over anything that took place, it was like "we are going to take you to therapy, then the doctors so on so on," and Luke never got a say in any of it. His voice was the one thing he could control, so Luke took advantage of that.

After awhile that got old and frustrating, so Luke then decided to just give up on everything. When Luke was twelve the doctors had said that he had something called "Peter pan syndrome", which wasn't recognized it as a psychological disorder- which Luke swore that wasn't a real term, but it was. The doctor had told Luke's parents that if Luke wanted to act his age, he would. He claimed that it wasn't something they should be to concerned about.

Luke didn't want to grow up though, the idea of being an adult made him want to vomit. He liked comfort and feeling small and cared for, he would rather spend a night cuddling with stuffed animals and watching a Disney movie than going to a party and getting wasted. His doctor stated that it had something to do with the fact that he had lost years of his childhood because of what happened and he felt a need o get it back now that he was older. It was almost as if it was a more severe case PTSD.

They were now standing in Ashton's room. The older man slipped a pair of sweatpants over his still slightly wet legs. He turned back to the small boy, who was shaking lightly, "Come here, little one." Luke whimpered at those words, before shuffling over to Ashton who wrapped his arms tightly around Luke's still towel clad body.

"She had no right to do any of those things to you, Lukey, believe me when I say this, you didn't deserve it," Ashton spoke while rubbing Luke' back.

At this point, Luke was sobbing. No one had ever told him something like before, all anyone ever said was "get over it", but Ashton was different. Luke wished he could muster up enough words to tell the man just how grateful he actually was, but when he opened his mouth to speak, all that came out was a whimper.

"I am here for you Luke, you can let go of the past, you are safe with me." Ashton reassured while pulling away.

"C- can I wear one of your sweaters please?" Luke spoke with a sniffle as Ashton wiped his eyes.

Ashton smiled down at the boy in admiration "Of course you can." Ashton said while pulling one from the drawer and pushing the towel to the ground.

"Raise your arms, bud." Luke blushed , but did as he was told and let Ashton dress him. Luke was smaller than Ashton, so the sweater that would have reached hipbone on the older one went just above Luke's knees. Ashton cooed at how adorable he looked. It was then and there when he realized what a mess he had got himself into, he was definitely falling in love with Luke.

Luke sniffled, "T-thank you," He spoke.

Ashton raised an eyebrows, before swallowing hard, "Thank you...?"

A blush fell across Luke's face, "Thank you, Daddy," He said before burying his face in the sweater sleeve.


	14. Chapter 14

Rain was usually looked at as a sorrowful topic. People thought of rain and suddenly death or tears came to mind. That is not how it is for Luke, he was sat on his porch, a fluffy blanket wrapped around his shoulders, a cup of tea placed between his palms. Jack sat next to him, wrapped up even tighter, a winter cap placed over his head. He had been in and out of the hospital for the past few days. 

"Luke, I want to tell you something," Jack spoke while anxiously rubbing his hands over his thighs, something he does when he is nervous.

The blonde chews on the rim of his mug, thinking the worst was about to come with whatever Jack had to share. A stray tear fell from he older ones eye, falling onto the wooden floor creating an evident wet spot.

"I found out how much longer I've got to live."

Luke swallowed hard, his stomach sinking a bit, "I-I thought you said that you didn't want to know?" 

Jack sighed while rubbing his hands over his weary eyes. His bags resembled bruises, he looked as if it has been years since he had a full night sleep. Not to mention, they were bloodshot, probably from all the drugs he was on. 

Sometimes, he was so loopy from them that it terrified Luke. Luke didn't like seeing his brother like that, he hated knowing that in order to survive he had to be dosed up on multiple types of medicine. 

"I didn't," Jack spoke, "I just feel so exhausted from all of this," He looked Luke in the eyes for a moment, "One month, at the most."

He spoke as if it was nothing. He spoke as if he were talking about something simple like when we was going to get a car or something. But this wasn't at all simple, this is death he was talking about.

Jack's face folded into a look of pure agony, "M- my entire life, everything I've worked for is just a huge waste," Tears started to cascade down his face.

Luke didn't know what to do, he never knew what to do in situations like this, comforting people was not his talent.

"I'm gonna die Luke." 

"Don't look at it like that, you're alive now, maybe a mira-"

Jack held his hand up, taking a deep breath, stopping Luke from what he was going to say, "Miracles aren-" Jack started to say, but paused as he saw Luke's face falls, tears coated the surface of his baby blues.

"I'm sorry Luke, I know I've been so negative lately, but man, how the hell am I supposed to react to all of this? How would you act if it was you that was dying?" Jack scoffed. 

Luke set his mug down on the floor before standing up, "Don't pin it on me, you apologize for being negative, but you're still doing it, I'm done with your bu-"

"Fine, I don't need your pity, I don't need anyone's pity, just get the fuck away from me, I don't need your childish behavior."

"I can't help it, you know that," Luke mumbled.

"Oh please, I know what the doctor said eight years ago, he said if you wanted to get better you would." Jack spat at him, "You can control your dumb ass illness, I fucking can't."

"Well then maybe I should just leave?"

"Go right ahead, I don't ever want to look at you again."

Luke wanted to pretend like none of that hurt him, but it did. Jack was the only member in his family that actually cared, or at least pretended to care about Luke.

\---

"C-can I stay here for a few days? I know you might not want me to, I just- I don't wanna be home right now.." Luke said with a pout.

This was all embarrassing, Luke had a backpack over his shoulder filled with his clothes and his stuffed penguin gripped tightly in his hands as if he were going to his friends house for the first time. Ashton didn't seem to mind that though, the smile on his face was more welcoming than anything Luke had ever seen in his life.

"Of course," Ashton spoke while lighting grasping Luke's forearm as he led him into the house, "Did something bad happen?" Ashton asked.

Luke sighed, he absolutely hated bringing Ashton down with him every time something bad happened. There was so much negativity in his life, and right now he just needed something to ease him off of it, anything. Luke always tried to be an optimistic person, which he succeeded 50% of the time. Unfortunately, something snapped inside Luke, causing him to be the exact opposite of what he wanted to be. 

"I just want to watch sad movies and eat unhealthy food," Luke whined while placing his stuff down before burying his head in Ashton's chest, "By any chance do you have a playlist filled with sad songs?"

Luke probably sounded like the biggest hypocrite ever, one second he is complaining about others being negative, and the next he is doing it himself. Ashton wasn't going to play this game though.

"No Luke," Ashton spoke sternly, making Luke's eyebrows furrow and his cheeks flush a deep red, "I'm not going to let you drown yourself in sadness, understand? You're gonna tell me what's wrong so I can help you."

"But Daddy," Luke whined while balling his fists up at his sides.

Ashton's eyes widened, he knew Luke couldn't help the way he was acting, but at the same time he feels so surprised at how quickly Luke was to act like this. Ashton knew he had to step in and be there for Luke, he knew he had to be in control. Luke needed this more than anything in life.

"Luke," Ashton spoke, trying to gain the boy's attention, but failing, "Luke." He spoke, again, but this time louder and more forceful. 

The blond looked up at Ashton, a slight hint of fear in his eyes.

Ashton took a deep breath, "Are you going to listen to me? Or am I going to have to punish you?"

Luke's cheeks flushed a deep maroon color, he was not used to Ashton acting like this. In fact, this was he first time he had seen him take control like that. It just made Luke fall even harder into the way he was acting.

Ashton grew up being the oldest of three kids. His father had left when they were all young, which meant he had to step in and help take care of them. The hazel eyed boy always liked that, he loved helping out and feeling like he was in control. When he found out about Luke he was obviously shocked, I mean it isn't everyday a small sixteen year old wants to be taken care of like that. 

Then as Ashton found out more, and how Luke didn't choose to act the way he does, Ashton felt obligated to care for him. He wanted to give Luke the attention that he seemed to be craving insanely. Luke was like a small child with his features, fluffy blonde hair, big blue eyes, small hands and above all, Luke was short. Ashton loved how easily he could pick the boy up if he wanted to, and he was certain that Luke loved it as well.

Luke being so small had its downsides though, like right now. If it were even possible, Luke felt smaller than he actually was as Ashton was staring down at him with strict eyes, waiting for an answer.

Today had been a long day for Luke, he was tired and grumpy and he just didn't feel like cooperating. So he didn't. 

Luke crossed his arms over his chest as he pouted towards the ground. Ashton placed his finger on the younger ones chin, lifting it so their eyes would meet. Luke wanted to explain to Ashton what had happened today, but the more he thought about it the worse he felt. Sometimes he just wanted to punch Jack in the face, along with his cancer for ruining his brother's life.

"What's going on with you?" Ashton asked while running his finger through the messy blonde hair. Luke pushed Ashton's hands away with a grumble.

"Nothing, just' tired," He mumbled.

"How about you lay down and take a nap, how does that sound, little one?"

"I don't want to take a nap."

Much to Luke's dismay, Ashton returned his hand to Luke's hair, his other one was placed on the boy's hip, "You're being cranky, you need to get some sleep."

Luke pulled away, "M' not cranky," He whined, "You're just a dick." The blonde spoke while glaring up at Ashton.

"Hey," Ashton spoke, having a strong grip on Luke's arm, "No need for that."

The blue eyes rolled, making Ashton sigh. 

Ashton raised an eyebrow, feeling quite amused by how the boy was acting, "Alright Lukey boy," Ashton spoke while gripping Luke's hand as he pulled him into the kitchen, "Since you want to be stubborn, you can sit here,"Ashton spoke while pulling a chair towards the corner of the room, "Until you're ready to tell me what is making you so grumpy."

Luke's face resembled a tomato as Ashton said that.

"Go on, sit down," Ashton said while gesturing towards the chair.

"I- I'm not five." Luke mumbled while toying with his fingers.

"You're not? You sure had me convinced."

Luke frowned, Ashton was good at this. He knew exactly what to say and how to act with Luke, that was something most people failed to figure out.

"Sit." Ashton spoke while sending a sharp smack to the back of Luke's thigh, not hard enough to for the boy to cry, but hard enough to make his face flush and quickly do as he was told.

\--

"I'm sorry Daddy, I didn't mean to be bad," Luke spoke while tucking his head between Ashton's chin and chest, right against his collarbones. 

The older one loved being called that, yes, it would take a lot of getting used to, but he wasn't complaining. He'd let Luke call him anything if it made the boy happy.

Ashton rubbed his hand over the surface of Luke's back, "What happened today that made you come over?"

Luke's breath hitched, "My brother told me that he only has one month left to live," Luke spoke.

He knew what Ashton was going to say. He was gong to say something along the lines of how Luke should be there with his brother right now, how he should spend every second he can with his sibling. He couldn't though.

"Why aren't you home with him?" Ashton asked.

Luke let out a sigh "We got in a fight, he said he doesn't want to ever see me again." 

"Do you want to see him?"

Luke thought about that for a moment, "No." He spoke, "I know how terrible that sounds because he's my brother and he's dying and I should want to see him and spent time with him on his last remaining month," Luke spoke, "But I just can't, he's so exhausting to be around because he's always so negative and rude about everything- and I'm tired of it." Luke rambled.

"Its okay to cut people out of your life Luke, you don't need to feel guilty," Ashton sighed, "But I don't think its going to be healthy to leave things between you guys like that, you might regret it when it's too late to fix it." Ashton spoke, making Luke whimper.

 

"S-so you think I should go back home? I- I can't, I just can't." Luke spoke.

"We can talk about it later Luke, how about this, tomorrow you and I can have a good day, no negativity, just you and I?"

Luke smiled against Ashton's chest, pulling away to look him in the eyes, "I would like that."

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all?


	15. Chapter 15

"Where are we going?" Luke asked from the passenger seat, his knee bouncing slightly, making it obvious that he was excited, he was impatient. Ashton chuckled, eyeing the boy up and down with a smile filled with admiration, "It's a surprise, you'll find out soon, baby boy."

The blonde blushed at the pet-name, before slumping down in his seat. He blew a puff of air from his mouth in annoyance, not liking that Ashton wouldn't reveal the secret, "Luke doesn't like surprises." He whined, "You can just tell him."

Ashton pressed his lips in a light smile, "Luke will just have to be a good boy and be patient," He spoke while placing his hand on the younger boy's knee, using his thumb to feel the soft fabric of his jeans, the other one gripping the steering wheel.

"What was stopping you 10 minutes ago?"

Ashton just shook his head, a sly smile plastered across his face.

The younger boy has always been impatient, about everything. Whether it was finding out what the homework was going to be, what he was going to be eating for dinner, or even the stupidest thing, waiting to take a shower. Luke hated to wait, he felt that there doesn't have to be an exact time put on everything. If you wanted to do something then why should you wait it out? This was something that usually got Luke into trouble, he would complain his parents ears off about waiting. Ashton didn't seem to mind though.

"Alright Lukey, what's your favorite song?"

Luke pouted as he tried to think, "One song? There's so many songs out there though!"

"How many do you think there are?"

Ashton knew exactly what he was doing. He was trying to get Luke's mind to settle down a bit so he wouldn't be so antsy. This was a trick Ashton's mother had played numerous times as the boy grew up. 

"There's gotta be a least 100."

Ashton let out a laugh, a real laugh, not one of those fake ones that his mother pulled out in times like this. Not a laugh that is filled with secret doubt and disapproval. A real one, filled with passion and praise.

"Well, you aren't wrong." Ashton spoke, "Could you try to pick one?"

Luke took a breath, "I like the Beauty and the Beast one, you know, when they're dancing," A small smile was placed on Luke's face as he said that, "It calms me down."

"Music is beautiful like that." Ashton spoke.

Both of the two adored music with their entire heart, they loved how things that you would never be able to talk about, could be explained through lyrics and instruments. Music was like medicine, it was probably more effective, it had the power to turn at bad day into a good one, and both were forever grateful to have that remedy.

\--

If you looked into Luke's eyes you could see the happiness that laid across them. Luke was probably the happiest he had ever been as he stood in that store. Yes, it was insanely cliche, and it might have been a bit risky for Ashton to bring him here, but it was all worth it since it made Luke happy.

The store was made for kids, there was no denying that, seeing that they were all running around. The walls had shelves filled with stuffed animals. The middle of the store housed isles of candy. This is what Luke imagined heaven to look like, "Wow," He spoke.

It never took much to excite Luke, he always found beauty in everything. Even objects that others who have grown so used to them would just ignore, like how the sky is blue or how the leaves fall to the ground. Luke thought it was all beautiful. Life was a beautiful, Luke always tried to remember, even during times of hardship.

Ashton placed his hand in the small of Luke's back, guiding him towards the wall of stuffed animals with a chuckle filled with adoration. Luke was in heaven, with his heaven. He felt his heart flutter as he thought about how Ashton must've put thought into this, the fact that he knew exactly where Luke would feel happy just made Luke feel so lucky.

"This wasn't a big push over was it? You seemed to love pengy.. and when I came over you didn't have much." Ashton spoke while rubbing his hand down Luke's back, making the boy feel every bit of anxiety from anything in his life leave his mind.

"No, this is.. wow."

Unexpectedly, the blond boy wrapped his arms around Ashton's torso, a large smile on his face, "Thank you Daddy," He whispers against the man.

The older boy chuckled, smiling fondly down at Luke. Ashton knew that everything he was doing was good for Luke, the blue eyed boy needed all of this. It was obvious that the sixteen year old barely received any attention, especially when he got excited over things like this, things that other kids his age would find lame. But Ashton didn't care that Luke was different, he loved the way he acted, and he wouldn't trade him for anything or anyone in the world.

"Why don't you go pick one or two out?" Ashton spoke while placing his hand in the small of the boy's back, giving him a small nudge towards the wall.

Luke hesitated for a moment, he glanced back at Ashton with a worried and scared look plastered across his face, "I-I.."

The hazel eyed boy raised his brow at the younger one, "What's wrong Lukey boy?"

Sadly, the teen's gaze fell to his hands as he mumbled, "I don't have enough money for any of these," He spoke.

Ashton should have guessed that the younger boy assumed he would pay for them himself, it was obvious Luke didn't have enough money, but it was also obvious that the boy didn't like taking money from others. Taking money from other people always made the young boy feel like such a burden, especially when the money was being spent on silly things like stuffed animals.

Growing up, Luke barely got luxuries. When he did ask, he always got a guilt trip that over the years made him scared to ask for anything. Now that Luke was older, he understood why his parents couldn't always give him everything he wanted. It was different with Ashton though, Ashton had money, lots of it, Luke didn't know that though because the boy was so wise with it.

"Angel, you could have all of the money in the world, and I still wouldn't expect you to pay," Ashton speaks while placing a finger on Luke's chin, forcing the boy to lock eyes with him, "Now either you go pick some stuffed animals out right now, or I'll do it for you," Ashton ran his fingers through the smaller boy's fringe, calming him down.

"B-but I need to pay you back somehow.."

Ashton sighed, knowing no matter how much he tried to convince the boy that he didn't need to pay back in any way, the boy would not back down, "Alright, how about this? Once we leave here I'm going to take you to your brother and you're going to make up with him," Ashton spoke with a risk, "Does that sound fair?"

"O-okay.. but are you sure it'll be enough to pay you back?" Luke asked timidly.

"Yes, now go," Ashton said while playfully giving the boy a small push, which caused him to giggle.

Ashton watched as the boy scanned through the stuffed animals, carefully picking them up to look at, then setting them down just as gently. The older boy chuckled as he heard faint "sorrys" being mumbled at the stuffed animals that Luke had put back. He knew he had found a keeper.

Luke glanced down towards the other end of the wall, there were pacifiers, lots of them. They were arranged in a multitude of colors and designs, Luke wanted one so badly, but he had no idea how to ask, and he didnt know if that crossed a line or not and if Ashton would find it to be too much. His thumb was his go to at this point, as unsanitary as it was.

Ashton must have noticed the look of distress that laid on the boy's face, "You can get one of those too, if you'd like."

The older one knew that this was all worth it, spending a little extra money on him, because the look on Luke's face was priceless as he spoke those words to him.   
\------

Once the two were settled back into Ashton's car, Luke excitedly grabbed both of the stuffed animals from the bag. Ashton watched affectionately as the boy smiled contently at the animals, petting their hair down. It had taken roughly fifteen minutes, but Luke had eventually decided on a stuffed giraffe and a stuffed bear, with much help from the older boy. Ashton had placed the dummy in his pocket, he had a feeling the small object would get lost if he didn't.

After a few moments of silence, Luke looked up as he felt eyes on his, "W-what?" he asked, a slight blush present on his cheeks as Ashton smiled at him.

"You, you're just too cute to handle," He replied, making Luke squeak as he covered his face with his way to long sleeves.

"Stop it," He whined while giggling.

Ashton chuckled while moving a stray piece of hair from Luke's eyes, before speaking up, "How about you tell what you named them?"

"This is Koda," Luke spoke with a smile as he cuddled the plush to his chest.

"Why did you name it that?" Ashton asked, making Luke narrow his eyes.

"Him, not it," He spoke.

Ashton laughed as Luke actually seemed bothered by it, "My apologizes, why did you name him that?" Ashton spoke, making sure to give emphasis on the word him.

Luke smiled, feeling satisfied, "I named him after the cub from brother bear," He spoke happily.

"And the giraffe?"

"I named him Arthur because I felt like it." He spoke simply, "Thank you for buying them for me, it really does mean a lot."

Ashton placed his hand on Luke's thigh, giving it a small squeeze, "Anything for you, baby boy."

Luke seemed happy, and that made Ashton happy. That has been his main goal since he first saw the fragile boy breakdown when they first met. It terrified Ashton that he hadn't known the boy for long, because he often found himself wondering who used to comfort him before he was around to do it. Or a worse thought: if anyone had even bothered to do it.

"I'd hate to drop the bomb, but we had a deal didn't we?" Ashton said while tightening his grip on the steering wheel, preparing himself for however Luke was going to react.

The blond let out a small whimper, making Ashton cringe, "But Daddy," Luke spoke, Ashton knew what he was trying to do by throwing that word in there, but he wasn't going to let the boy get away with it.

"Luke," Ashton warned, "I know you don't want to, but you need to talk to Jack, you might regret it one day if you don't."

"Okay." Luke spoke lightly, making Ashton raise his eyebrow. He thought Luke would have put up a bigger fight, but surprisingly, he didn't.

"Okay?"

"You're right, I need to talk to him," Luke said sadly, "But I really don't wanna stay there," Luke spoke.

"How about this, I can park down the street some and after you're done talking to him we can go back to my place, does that sound okay with you?"

Ashton didn't blame Luke for not wanting to be home, but what confused Ashton the most is how his parents didn't even care where their son was. The older boy thought Luke was the sweetest boy ever, he didn't understand why his family didn't care about him.

"Are your parents okay with all of this? I mean you haven't been home this weekend, and you've got school tomorrow.. how are they okay with not knowing where you're at?"

Luke frowns, he usually tries hard not to think much about how they don't care, because when he does it usually just makes him even more upset, it's useless to think about and he knows that it will never change, they are too used to acting that way to stop at this point.

"I just tell them that I'm staying with a friend, and they don't ask questions, they're fine with it." Luke spoke.

"Are you fine with it?" Ashton asked.

Luke shrugged, "I like staying with you, anything is better than staying in that house with them," Luke replied, "Sometimes it just.. hurts."

Ashton was now parked down the road from Luke's house, his hand was around Luke's shoulder trying his hardest to calm the boy before he even needed to, "Why does it hurt?"

"Your family is supposed to be the ones that are always there for you no matter what, but they never are." Luke bit his lip, before opening the car door.

"I- I should just go talk to him, and get it over with," Luke spoke while wiping his eyes.

He wasn't exactly in the correct mind set, right now all he wanted was to cuddle up with Ashton and watch movie, maybe even have the older boy give him a bottle, anything to make him able to not think about all the stress in his life.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mhm." That's all Luke said before he got out of the vehicle, shutting the door behind him.

Ashton rolled the window down, "Wait!" He called out, making Luke look back, "I'll be waiting right here, okay?"

Luke just nodded, not trusting his voice.

\----  
Luke walked into the house, instantly pulling his sleeves over his hands. The house was freezing cold, that wasn't out of the ordinary, though, it was always cold. What was strange is that the normally quiet house, had a lot of commotion.

The blond ignored his father's greets, even though they weren't very much of greetings, greetings were supposed to be sincere. He headed straight towards Jack's room, opening the door.

The sickly boy looked up, expecting to see his father or mother standing there, but when his eyes met Luke's he quickly started shaking his head.

"Do you not remember what I said to you? What you said to me?" He said forcefully.

"Jack.. I just wanna talk." Luke spoke, tears coating over the tops of his eyes, "Please."

"I'm not talking to you about anything," Jack spoke while rolling over so his back was facing Luke.

Luke swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat. He tried to ignore the feeling of dread he felt just standing in that house, he hated it so much.

"Luke, get out before I tell Dad about everything you said and leave him to deal with you." Jack spoke bitterly.

"Jack-"

"No, you leave, or I will." Luke continued to stand there, as if his feet were glued to the ground. Jack scoffed, throwing his blanket off of him.

"I-I'm leaving," Luke spoke quickly.

He wanted to get out of the hell hole as quick as possible. Tears were brimming over his eyes, and he most certainly wasn't going to cry in front of his father. He got out fast, walking down the sidewalk, well, more like running. All he really wanted right now was Ashton.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize it took me so long to update, life has been fucking me in the ass lately and I couldn't get into the flow of writing, but it should be more regular from this point on xx


	16. Chapter 16

"How did it go?" Ashton asked as Luke got into the car, the boy ignored him and simply looked out the window. He tried to keep a straight face, but failed as tears continued to fall down his cheeks at a fast rate.

Luke felt like such a failure, all he wanted was for Jack to forgive him. Luke didn't even think all of this was his fault, they were arguing because of Jack's negativity; if anyone should apologize it should be Jack, that's what Luke thought. He also thought that maybe all of this was just an excuse, maybe his family did hate him and they wanted to take any reason they could find to make their hate seem understandable.

"Luke," Ashton spoke while rising from his seat, he got as close as he could to the younger boy before speaking, "Don't block me out, tell me what happened back there." 

"Just drive, please," Luke spoke weakly.

Ashton took that as a cue to not push the boy into speaking, he knew that it would just make him even more upset, and Luke didn't need that. 

The rest of the car ride was silent, except for Luke's occasional whimpers, and Ashton trying to lightly comfort him.

"Go inside and lay down, I'll be in there in a moment, okay?" 

Luke didn't respond, he just wiped his eyes and nodded weakly, rushing inside. The older one sighed deeply, grabbing the bag that contained the two stuffed animals in it, and pulling the pacifier from his pocket, unwrapping it because he knew Luke would most definitely want it now.

As much as he knew it wasn't his fault, Ashton still felt that in a way it was. He was the one who told Luke he had to talk things through with Jack, and look where that got them. He took a breath before heading inside.

When he reached his bedroom, Luke was curled into a ball, obvious tear tracks were vibrant against his pale skin. 

"You left some friends behind," Ashton spoke while putting the two animals next to Luke, who made grabby hands.

Ashton chuckled, giving him the bear and giraffe, but Luke whined, "Not them, want' you," He mumbled.

This was a pattern Ashton had started to get the hang of, every time Luke got upset about something he would fall into headspace. And yes, there were some days where he wasn't sad at all, and he'd still be in it. But when he was sad, he fell hard. In a way, Luke was always in that headspace, it just got mistaken for him being quiet and innocent. Luke never acted his age, and when he got upset, it seemed even worse. But it was always there, you just had to look closer than most people were.

The older of the two climbed into bed, pulling Luke to his chest, and right as he did that, the boy let out a long stream of tears. It wasn't light crying either, it was heavy breathing, sobs. Ashton felt his heart ache.

"Shh," He spoke, rubbing his hands up and down Luke's back, which helped a little bit.

"Daddy, it h-hurts!" He whimpered, he was still crying, but not as hard. The boy had his fists bawled up and latched onto the front of Ashton's shirt. His grip was so tight, that Ashton was beginning to think he'd end up ripping it.

Ashton tried his hardest to not panic at how loud and upset Luke was, instead he just sat up some so he could rock the boy back and forth.

"It's just your brother, if he can't hear you out and accept your apologies, then he isn't worth it," Ashton spoke softly into Luke's ear, trying to be extra quiet because he knew that if he was to loud it would be too much for Luke to handle.

"You're always going to have me, okay? If things ever feel to much you just tell me, and we can talk it out, I will listen." Ashton kept going.

At this point, Luke's eyes were closed tightly. He was trying his hardest to calm down, and he was trying his hardest to block out what had happened. I bit his lip as he focused on Ashton's heart beat in front of him.

"I- I feel like no one loves me." Luke spoke softly while turning his body to face Ashton.

Ashton swallowed hard, their bodies were for close that he felt he could hear Luke's heart beating, "I do." 

With that said, the older man leaned down and placed his lips against Luke's. The small boy fell into the kiss, feeling an insane amount of butterflies erupt in his stomach.

Ashton pulled away so Luke could breathe, this was the blond's first kiss.

"Always."

Luke breathed heavily, tears still racing down his cheeks. Ashton pulled the pacifier from his pocket and slipped it into Luke's gaped mouth, "Now, how about you get some well needed sleep?" 

Luke couldn't protest, even if he wanted to.   
\----

"He is letting you call him daddy?" Michael asked questioningly.

Michael didn't know Luke like Calum did, so it must have sounded quite odd as Luke was sitting there explaining everything that has been taking place. Calum's annoyance showed through his facial expression as Luke continued to talk about Ashton, totally blocking out Michael's comment. Calum didn't even know Ashton, and he already wasn't to fond of the guy. Calum didn't hate him, that seemed impossible, considering he didn't even know the man.

Calum had just become quite protective of Luke over the years, it was almost like instinct. And even though he would never admit to it, Michael was the same way. It was almost like a little brother relationship they had. Michael could tease all he wants, but at the end of the day he still loved the blond to pieces. 

"Are you sure he isn't getting the wrong idea? I mean, seriously? A high-schooler calling his twenty year old boyfriend daddy? It seems to good to be true." Calum trailed off, "Are you guys official?"

"We haven't really talked about it," Luke spoke, "He's nice and he holds me when I'm sad.. And last night he kissed me for the first time and I felt fireworks an-"

"Calm down, look I just don't think you realize what you're getting yourself into." Calum spoke.

Luke huffed while rolling his eyes. The hallways were now beginning to be filled up with more students, indicating that the bell was about to ring. Luke shut his locker and then looked up at Calum with a pout, "At least meet him before you judge him, he's really nice and not like every other guy."

Calum wanted to scream at that. He absolutely hated that Luke was always so blind in a relationship. Usually Calum was right about everything that had to do with guys, whether it was how to give a blowjob, which Luke still had yet to discover, or the best way to kiss. Although he was right all of those times, this time he wasn't. 

"Hey, I wanna meet this guy also, you know, show him what will happen if he messes with our Luke," Michael spoke while holding is fists up.

Luke rolled his eyes, once again, as the two kept babbling on about when and where they'd hit him at, "Yeah, okay, keep dreaming," Luke spoke as he walked to physics. 

The sixteen year old appreciated the fact that they cared, but he just wished Ashton wouldn't have such a bad rep with them, just because of his age. Four years isn't that big of a deal. Is it? 

Luke only had to wait for two more years until he was old enough for it to be considered okay. Until then, he was just going to go with what his gut said. Maybe his gut often made the worst decisions ever, like faking illnesses so he could get out of PE class, and ending up in the hospital because he was just that convincing. But what could go wrong? Ashton was trustworthy, there was no denying that.

\----

"My friends want to meet you." Luke said happily as he walked into Ashton's house.

Ashton raised an eyebrow before tossing his keys onto the table. This wasn't something Ashton was used to, but that is the price you pay when you date a younger boy. Usually it was "Do you want to meet my parents" or even "Do you want to meet my kids", it has never been "Do you want to meet my friends who are as young as I am just to remind you how young I actually am".

"They want to meet me?" Ashton asked while sitting down on the couch, he signaled for Luke to follow.

The blond sat in Ashton's lap, making him smile lightly, while pulling him a little closer to his chest.

"They do! And I think you should meet them because they really don't think you're a good guy and I wanna prove them wrong."

Ashton chuckled, "Why don't they think I'm a good guy?"

Luke shrugged, turning his body around in a way that it looked like he was straddling Ashton, "Every time I talk about you.. they just always have something bad to say." 

"Oh, so you talk about me huh?" Ashton said making Luke blush and hide his face in the crook of Ash's neck.

Turning serious, Ashton spoke up again, "Do they know about you? You know about your quirks?" 

Luke cringed at the man's choice of words, but quickly nodded, "Well, kinda, Cal knows more than Mikey does,"

"Cal and Mikey? I'm only meeting two of your friends?"

Luke frowned, "Well, there's only two for you to meet, also, they're together." 

Ashton smiled at that. Luke looked happy as he talked about them. He wasn't that surprised by his lack of friends, Luke didn't seem like the outgoing type. Ashton wasn't judging though, most times, two friends was better than ten. 

"Well, I'd love to meet them, and hopefully prove them wrong," Ashton spoke while rubbing Luke's back.

"Can I call them now?" 

Ashton hesitated before speaking, "Hold on, you and I need to talk about something, about us." 

"Oh," Luke said while starting to climb off of Ashton's lap, Ashton held him there.

"It's nothing bad, I promise," He reassured, making Luke loosen up a small bit, "If we're going to move forward with this relationship, we need to talk about rules and boundaries," Ashton took a breath "For you."

Luke knew what he was talking about, it was about Luke's "quirks". The topic made Luke slightly uneasy, he had never been in a situation where he had to talk about it like this. He felt butterflies form in his stomach, he felt nervous about this. 

On the other hand, Luke was so grateful that Ashton was stepping up and taking control, he was also so appreciative that Ashton was so supportive. Most guys would totally take advantage of Luke's vulnerability and treat him like dirt.

"I need to know what you are and aren't comfortable with, alright baby boy?" 

Luke flushed at the pet name, but just stared down at his hands as he waits for the older one to continue, "First off, you should always ask me before you do something, I want to make sure you are always safe," Ashton spoke.

He was going to wait until he was done with everything to ask Luke how everything sounded, "No swearing, you're to cute to be having such vulgar words come out of your mouth."

Luke nodded, thinking those were fair rules, "And always respect me, and yourself, no matter what, okay? No bratty behavior, if you're in a bad mood I expect you to talk to me about it, not shut me out."

"I want you to be nice to everyone, I know that you probably want to roll your eyes at that, which I should mention, no rolling eyes, but I don't want you being rude to people, okay?" 

Luke nodded along to Ashton's words, he found it hard to make eye contact, but Ashton didn't want to push that, not yet at least, "And I want you to listen to me and not argue, if there is a problem then you and I can calmly talk about it, but you shouldn't be defensive right away, understand, screaming and yelling won't solve a thing." 

"Okay," Luke whispered. 

"And lastly, for now, no drinking," Ashton spoke, "I don't want to hold past experiences against you, but last time you drank, well the outcome wasn't good, and besides, you aren't even of age," The boy took a breath before continuing, "Other rules are just small ones that aren't as important, and I'll add more if I need to, but you should already know right from wrong."

Luke sighed, he had a love hate relationship with drinking, he liked how he could just lie down and forget everything, but sometimes, it made him worry to much. He didn't like that. Also, a few hours of being buzzed was not worth an entire day of a hangover, or what he had to worry about now, a punishment.

"I know this might be a lot to take in, and you may not remember them all, but if it reaches a point where you keep breaking them, then there will be consequences."

"W-what happens if I mess up?"

Ashton rubbed Luke's arm, as if he was trying to calm the boy down, "Well, I'll be lenient at first, you're allowed to make mistakes, but I don't want you to make a habit of them."

Luke leaned up against Ashton's chest, burying his head in the crook of his neck as a way to say thank you. The older one placed a kiss against his forehead, before speaking, "I was thinking that if you needed to be punished, you can do corner time, like you already have," Ashton paused for a moment, "Or I might spank you."

The small boy tensed, a blush spreading across his face. The attention he was receiving was definitely something new, something that he hadn't gotten a chance to get used to yet. 

The thought of getting to a point where he had to punished make Luke squirm in Ashton's arms. He didn't like to disappoint people, but he knew that something was bound to happen whether he intended it or not.

"A-alright." Luke spoke quietly, Ashton had barely heard him because of how soft spoken he was.

"There might be other punishments, but as for now, those will be the main ones, okay angel?"

Luke nodded, wrapping his two hands around Ashton's arm and pulling it close to his chest, as if it were a stuffed bear. The dirty blond just cooed contently at the young boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol, I'm gonna continue this finally


	17. Chapter 17

"I swear to god, if you guys embarrass me I'll.. I'll.. Well I don't know what I'll do, but it won't be good," Luke spoke, trying to be intimidating, but failing as he resembled a small kitten.

"Wow, I'm so threatened, we gotta watch out for this one Cal," Michael joked, making Luke roll his eyes.

Calum, Mikey and him were all walking down the sidewalk on there way to Ashton's house. When Luke delivered the news that they were able to meet Ashton, both boys were ecstatic. Luke on the other hand, not so much.

Yes, he was blissful to be able to prove his friends wrong, but at the same time, he was worried. Michael could write an entire story just about every dumb thing Luke has done in his life, Calum could write four. They were his friends, and Luke trusted them, but not in this moment.

It wasn't that they were excited, they were just impatient. Both boys didn't really believe that this Ashton guy was real, and if he was, they didn't have a very good vision of what he may be like. They pictured a buff, hairy guy, one that still lived in his parents basement, or on the bad side of town. Neither of them thought that Ashton would be good for Luke.

He had a feeling in his gut that Michael was going to do something to make Luke cringe for weeks, that was just Michael. 

"Please don't make fun of me," Luke spoke while opening the door, "D-Daddy I'm home," He yelled into the house.

Michael bit his lip to stop a laugh from falling out. He wished he could say he was surprised, but he wasn't, this was all such a Luke thing to do. Michael just shook his head, looking around the house without looking to obvious about it.

"Hey Lukey boy, how was school?" Ashton asked while standing up from his desk, closing the lid of his laptop before walking over to Luke. 

Calum swallowed hard as he saw the man, he expected Ashton to be different. When he saw the size of his muscles he felt almost intimated. Michael felt the same way, but he would never let it be obvious. If it wasn't for Ashton's massive smile, Calum probably would have ran out of the house. They expected a buff guy, but they didn't think he would be this perfect medium of muscular and comforting at the same time.

"I'm Michael, and this is Calum," The galaxy haired boy spoke happily, "We're your boyfriends only friends." Calum blurted after, making Luke huff.

"I'm well aware, hm, it's a good thing I like you two already," Ashton said with a big smile.

"T-thanks si-"

"Oh god, don't call me that, I'm only a few years older than you, you know?"

 

Michael mumbled a "sorry sir" then a "shit" under his breath, which Ashton barely even heard. Luke wishes he would have warned them to not swear, but he also had a feeling that they would swear just to mess with him, or at least Michael would. 

The curly haired boy could see how nervous the two were, so he spoke out of pure entertainment, for not only him, but Luke, "So Luke here said you guys both think bad of me?" 

"No!" Calum yelled, "I mean, we were just looking out for Luke," He said while ruffling Luke's hair playfully.

 

"What the fuck dude?" Luke spoke while pushing his hands away.

"Luke." Ashton warned while giving him a "remember what we talked about" look. 

The guilty boy blushed, trying to change the subject, "Anyway... now they know that you're not a bad guy," Luke said while chuckling nervously.

Michael bit his lip, while turning away before mumbling, "Yeah great guy that's gonna punish Luke later." 

Luke heard him, and he was sure everyone heard him because he doesn't know how to be subtle for the life of him. They could all sense the awkward tension in the air, Luke cringed at it. It wasn't that Ashton wasn't trying to be awkward, it was mainly Calum and Michael, they were trying too hard to relate to the man, and it just made Ashton feel like he was meeting his son's friends, not his boyfriend's.

"Alright... You've got some...interesting friends Luke." 

"Uh, Ashton," Calum said unexpectedly, "Can I talk to you about something," The raven boy asked, "Alone," He added as he looked at Luke and saw the boy's eyes widen in curiosity.

"Yeah, come on," Ashton said while walking into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him.

"Oh god," Luke said, his stomach in a whirl, "He's going to tell him about that one time-"

"Luke, calm your shit, I'm sure whatever he's saying it's gonna help you out," Michael spoke.

Luke just shook his head, "No, he's gonna tell him about the one time I pissed my pants when we had to watch Silence of the Lambs freshm-" 

Michael groaned, "If you don't chill out and shut up, then I'll tell him that story, okay? Pipe it down a bit."

Meanwhile, Ashton stood in front of the high schooler his eyes flickering with concern. He had a feeling that he knew what this was about, Luke did tell him that Calum knew about it all. 

"You have to be careful with Luke," Calum told the older boy.

Ashton chuckled for a moment, "Calum, I know that already."

"He's extremely needy, and clingy and everything else that falls under that category." 

"Is that all?"

"No," Calum said, "This kid is a fucking reliant mess."   
\--------

"I'm sorry they were so weird, I'm sure they were just scared, that's all." 

Ashton chuckled while pulling the boy into his room, "As long as they make you happy and they aren't bad influences, I like them."

The sixteen year old smiled at that. His family had never liked his friends, he never really knew why, he thought maybe it was because they were dating each other. When Luke came out his family always tried to be supportive of him. They fooled Luke for awhile, but it wasn't hard to tell that they wished their son was straight, and they most definitely wished his friends were to. 

His parents never got to meet them like they should have, like at a dinner, or a time when Luke had both boys over, but Luke never had them over. Instead, his parents met them at the end of his first semester of Freshman year, this was because the schools choir was having a Christmas performance and Liz wanted to get involved, that feeling didn't last long though.

The entire night Luke was filled with fear and worry, and he had every right to feel that way. Once the performance was over, Luke found his parents, Calum and Michael coming close behind. Maybe it was because Luke saw his father sneaking drinks between each song, or that he simply didn't care about Luke's happiness, but the second he saw Calum and Michael's intertwined hands, he wanted nothing to do with either of them. 

Luke's parents were the type that thought gayness was caused by the media and other non-straight people, which Luke found that theory unreasonable. The boy grew up having heterosexuality shoved down his throat, and yet he still turned out to be a queer kid.

Whatever the reason was, Luke always hated asking to hang out with them, whenever he did he always got the same response which was, "Why don't you make some more friends, you're always hanging out with them." Luke didn't want to make more friends though, Michael and Calum understood him so easily, and he couldn't imagine having to open up to anyone else. That was before he met Ashton, though.

With Ashton it was like he didn't even have to try to talk or think his words thoroughly, it all just fell into place, he loved that. He also loved how when he was with Ashton no matter what he said, Ashton would never think less of him. Even when he said the dumbest things, Ashton would just laugh and shake his head, unlike others who would make Luke feel like an idiot.

Ashton hummed and pulled the boy onto his lap as he sat down, "I wanna take you out tonight," He said to Luke while pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Really? You actually want to?" Luke said while biting his lip, trying to contain a smile.

"Of course, we haven't got the chance to go on a proper date, and I think we should."

Luke smiled, falling into Ashton's touch as he leaned against the older boys chest. Ashton breathed in his scent, loving the way he smelled of rose and lilac- Ashton knew it was those scents because he remembered buying the scented shampoos just for Luke. Luke was soft, and sweet, Ashton loved that about the younger boy. 

The blond was observing Ashton's scent as well. Ashton scent was like receiving a hug from your grandpa, the type of scent that brought you back to when times were good. He smelt of old spice and mint.

"You know what Luke?" Ashton spoke as the two sat there for a moment. He didn't wait for Luke to respond, "I know things aren't going so well right now, but if you think about-"

"I like how things are." Luke spoke, fluttering his eyelashes against Ashton's cheek before looking up at him.

"You do?"

Luke shrugged, "My entire family hates me, but I mean.. How can I know that they never did before? When I'm with you it just feels like I don't need to worry about anything, I know I can be myself around you without getting judged," Ashton kissed the top of Luke's soft hair, "And I love it."

Ashton stood up, Luke doing the same, following behind the man like a lost puppy.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to take you out for a romantic dinner." Ashton spoke.

"Huh?"

"I've got a better idea," Ashton said, grabbing a bag from behind the couch.

Luke raised an eyebrow in curiosity, glancing at the bag. Ashton just snapped his finger, a smile on his face, "Get your shoes, grab your stuffie of choice and get in the car." 

\----

 

They had been in the car for almost an hour now, Luke didn't complain though. The blond actually loved car rides, he liked being able to just stare out the window and watch as the world went by. Although, Luke didn't feel all that good about this car ride. No matter how much nagging he did, Ashton would not reveal where they were going. 

Luckily for Luke, Ashton had his pacifier, it seemed that Ashton just knew. That thought alone made Luke feel happy inside, he loved that Ashton remembered the little things. 

Luke was sitting with his head leaned up against the car window, small murmurs falling from his lips as he softly sang along with the radio, the necklace like attachment on his dummy allowed it to fall against his chest as he drifted into his own little world. Luke recognized the voice as Ed Sheeran, and despite feeling somewhat anxious, he felt calmed. 

The song wasn't on the radio, Ashton had plugged his phone into the car, playing his own music. Luke didn't know about it, but Ashton had an entire playlist for him for the sole purpose to calm him down, because he knew that was what the boy needed.

"You like this song, Lukey boy?" Ashton asked, breaking him from his train of thoughts. 

A blush fell across his cheeks as he realized that Ashton had been listening to him "Mhm, Ed Sheeran makes me feel...content." Luke admitted.

Ashton nodded in agreement. Ed Sheeran was the type of musician that everyone seemed to love, whether it was for his soothing voice, firey hair, or bubbly personality, he just gave off good vibes to anybody and everybody.

"You know..I still don't know where we're going..." Luke said.

Ashton chuckled slightly, with a sly smile, "Hm, you'll find out soon." 

"Can you give me a hint? Please Ashy?" Luke spoke, "I've been a good boy."

The twenty year old just smiled, "Patients is the key, you know?"

Luke just rolled his eyes at that. The sun was on the verge of setting, which meant they would either reach their destination soon, or it would be a night trip. Luke was hoping that it would be the first option, he was growing impatient.

"Rolling your eyes isn't going to make us get there any sooner, Lukey." 

Luke felt an urge to roll his eyes again because it was his bad habit, but he held back, muttering a quiet apology.   
\----

It was 11 pm when they had finally arrived. Normally, Luke would have been sleepy, and probably grumpy as well, but not now. Now, he was ecstatic as he jumped out the car as soon as it stopped and sat down in the cold sand. 

Luke had never been to the beach before, which is odd considering where he lives. His mother was always against it for a hand full of reasons, like the fact that it is unsanitary, or that there is to many people. Right now, he and Ashton were the only two there.

"I've never been to the beach before!" Luke said happily as Ashton opened the trunk.

"What! You're kidding." Ashton said surprised, making Luke giggle while letting the grains of sand fall from between his fingers.

"I swear! Mum always said beaches are for hippies," Luke pouted.

Ashton watched fondly as his boy looked so happy and peaceful. There is a lot in this world Luke had never experienced before, things that most people younger than Luke already had. Ashton couldn't wait to show Luke how much beauty there was in life. He made it his goal.

The older one knelt down next to the blue eyed boy, "Have you ever been star gazing?" 

That was what his main goal was while coming here, he never knew that Luke hadn't been to a beach before. This was better than any fancy dinner, both of them could agree.

A sigh fell from Luke's lip, "Mama never really let us do anything fun and exciting, she always looked at everything as dangerous." 

Ashton felt his heart pang at how much he loved Luke, he could not believe how lucky he had been to find someone like Luke. Ashton had never been one to believe in fate, but this had to be fate. People like Ashton hardly ever found the love they deserved. In fact, they hazel eyed boy had started to give up on finding someone, it didn't seem likely.

That was until he saw Luke that day at the store, looking back, it was simple, and Ashton could have easily let Luke leave after what happened. It could have been goodbye and Ashton could have never seen Luke again. That thought made Ashton feel empty, Luke had been giving Ashton a reason to wake up in the morning, and fall asleep at night. He needed Luke just as much as Luke needed him. Luke was one in million.

"C'mon," Ashton said while holding his hand out. Luke looked questioningly at him, but latched onto him. 

"Help me throw these blankets onto the top of the car, then we can stargaze, does that sound alright?" 

Luke's eyes lit up and a smile spread out across his face. Yes, this was way better than a stupid fancy dinner. Luke was so grateful that he had Ashton.

They worked fast, Ashton getting on the car so he could arrange the blankets a bit. Luke tried to help, by handing him pillows when he asked and such. The older man jumped down once he was finally finished, which made Luke start to bounce on his feet in excitement.

Ashton placed his arms around Luke's waist, lifting him so he could climb up, this made butterflies form in his stomach, he loved all the small things that Ashton would do. 

Once both of them were situated, Luke could feel happiness bubbling in his stomach. He remembered being a young child and always wanted what he was now, someone who loves him for just being himself. It seemed unreal because of how beautiful it was. Ashton had his arm wrapped tightly around the small boy, to "make sure you're warm Luke, it's November"- despite the fact that both of them had a variety of blankets covering their bodies.

"Luke, there is something I wanted give you," Ashton spoke while pulling something from his pocket, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea by this, so please let me explain," Ashton spoke while opening his hand.

The blond swallowed hard, feeling tears for in his eye, "Ashy I-"

"Shh," He spoke while placing the ring in Luke hand, "A promise ring."

Luke sighed in relief, he wasn't ready for marriage yet, and it would have been an awkward situation if Ashton thought he was. The ring was decorated in small butterflies, you had to look close to be able to recognize them as that. On the inner side of the ring was engraved with the word "Always". The tears came back into his eyes, and he couldn't stop them as they fell down his face.

"Luke, I mean it when I say this," Ashton started, "Ever since I met you, I just, I've been a better person, I guess you can say that I was stuck in a cocoon before I met you, and now i's like I'm a butterfly- was that lame?"

With a small giggle, a still crying Luke shook his head.

"This may seem to soon," Ashton spoke, but Luke shook his head, showing that it wasn't, "But I want this relationship to start moving forward, and I was hoping you'd feel the same." 

"And, wow, you're so..." Ashton closed his eyes, "That ring indicates a promise, a promise that I will always be here for you, a promise that you will always be my baby boy, a promise that I will always give you a place to stay, a bed to sleep in, and food to eat," Ashton stopped, "And a promise that I will always love you."

Luke let out a small sob as Ashton placed the ring on his small finger. The blond quickly leaned in, giving Ashton a kiss before wrapping his arms around him. Ashton held him there for what felt like hours, "I love you," the younger boy whispering in the dark.

His phone vibrated against his leg, but he was to in the moment to even care, or to question the fact that someone was actually texting him. He just waned to stay here with Ashton forever.


End file.
